So many shiny lines to choose from Tommy. As a writer, I loved that you caught this from your muse and offered it to us:
“Surrender, perhaps.”
At age 57 I’ve discovered that surrender, and surrendering with grace, is an ultimate strength vs failure (which is how I perceived it at a younger age).
James! Thank you for reading & taking the time to leave a note. Makes me smile.
I love how perceptive you are in your reading. How you pull out these small lines that you suffuse with sacredity. So cool.
This was so good: “surrendering with grace, is an ultimate strength”. I think you’re exactly right. I’m slowly learning to surrender but it’s no easy feat.
Loved this Tommy. Not sure if the closing line just came to you or you worked on it but it put a smile on my face that’s still there. You capture an important lesson that I think you keep coming back to, and also that we’ve messaged back and forth about. That lesson being “you can’t do it all so make good choices and enjoy the shit out of what you can do.” Welcome home 👊 🇨🇦
Great story telling and lesson. Letting go is something we can all learn to get better at. Especially for those of us, myself at the front of that line, whose instinct is to grip tighter rather than to let go.
Always enjoy these essays. Thanks for writing brother.
Hey Tommy! I’m heading to Argentina’s tiny neighbour, Uruguay, for the month of January. Once I worked myself through the jealousy of your 65 day journey I experienced pure excitement for exploring the streets of Latin American cities and dining as “statehouses” (asados ;)). The trip is to visit my partner’s family but I’m hoping we can find a way to swing over to Buenos Aires - Tim Ferris’s 4 hour work week inspired me to visit. If I do, and if you’re willing, I may seek your travel advice.
You have reminded me of the importance of staying hungry for new experiences while maintaining enough flexibility to take the opportunities when they come.
Haha I loved how honestly you walked through the process of jealousy to excitement. I definitely feel that man. Even while I’m in Argentina I see people in Thailand or even back at home with family and feel the vines of jealousy, or even just wondering if I should be somewhere else, grip me.
Uruguay is awesome from what I’ve heard! That sounds like an epic trip, especially to visit your partner’s family who are locals there.
Definitely shoot me a note if you go to Buenos Aires! I’ve already sent recommendations to a friend who asked and I have a pretty solid list after 40 days there.
Thanks again pal & hope you’re having a great weekend !
Tommy!!! Beautiful as always - your mind is a wonder.
This piece was so incredibly relatable. The disbelief when losing something, the panic feeling of thinking you may have lost it and saying to yourself “but I checked the whole room! Even under the bed!”. The amount of things I have lost while travelling, or just in general really, could fill a small vault. Every time I get so mad at myself and think if you had done this or done that, but our thoughts unfortunately cannot change our circumstances, only how we see them!
This was a lesson I had to learn early on due to the nature of my family’s expeditions (chaotic) and the nature of my composure (clumsy). If I were to get upset at every trivial thing that goes wrong then my life would be one of misery haha.
I loved what you said about losing something like a hat is just another way of the universe saying “It could have been worse”. And in those moments, it’s almost as if losing your hat was fate, like was set up as a check in for you to appreciate all the things you do have in life. As if there were more forces at work then just you having forgotten. Kind of pretty to think about.
Another note, loved the fact that you take your hat off in restaurants because you remember what your grandad taught you. I saw something recently that said isn’t it lovely the way that we are a mosaic of all of our favourite people and things and the way they emanate through our actions - kind of like when the sun lights up different parts of stained glass. We are all broken and painted different colours and it is the oddities that make us beautiful.
Rachel!! Wowza your comments are such a treat. Thank you for reading & such a beautiful reflection :)
Hahaha I’ve decided to budget for losing at least one thing every trip. It’s almost an expectation at this point. So when I inevitably do lose something, I’ve already budgeted for it. I also have a bad tendency of forgetting something while I pack, even some pretty important things you’d think I couldn’t possible forget.
I agree it’s so pretty to think about. Especially if I can reframe it from a disappointment to a reminder of how lucky I am. Life often really is just about our frame on things.
To your point on people, I don’t think anyone really dies. Not completely. I’ve written about it a bit before, but I think the people we love, the people in our lives, are embodied through us. In our habits, mannerisms, beliefs, etc. They live on through us, consciously and unconsciously, in a very real sense.
Thanks again for the note and hope you’re having a lovely weekend :)
Hello there ! You did provide a nudge to ponder upon the art of letting go . In the present age we are so much wide with world consciousness and so less deep with self consciousness . We often tend to stress on the fact that it's the little things that matter. But we also forget that being liberated is also a little thing we're bereft of . Letting go is important. However, i believe prior to it learning about and being aware of one's attachment style is more important. As Buddha has stated " The root cause to all suffering is attachment ". And i think that pretty much explains everything.
Thanks for the note Divyanshi. I appreciate you reading.
I love the Buddha quote on attachment. However, to my understanding, not attaching is the same thing as not clinging is the same thing as letting go. To me, it’s the same idea.
Interesting on attachment styles. From what I know the theory of attachment was originally developed by John Bowlby in the mid 1900’s which would be 2500 years after the Buddha lived. I’n not sure it carries the same depth and meaning and significance of thought, but I may be wrong.
Those are some really interesting facts. However, i believe attachment and letting go can be two different things at times. Attachment may come way before letting go and it's nearly impossible for us human species to not possess the feeling of Attachment. Letting go is also more of detachment that one practices after getting attached. Like, we can see you were attached to that hat with varied levels of emotions and when you lost it you really felt bad. However, thereafter you practiced detachment here by letting it go. You still might be attached to a lot of things you wouldn't be aware of. And you are not detached from them. You're human and this definitely is a materialistic world. In Hinduism, according to Bhagvad Gita, getting rid of the feeling of Attachment and detachment begins by killing self ego and through self realisation by understanding and believing that the body and soul are two different entities and it will always remain so.
Really engaging article. The beginning especially was very evocative, I enjoyed the atmosphere so much. Thanks for writing and sorry about your hat. Often, our hands are emptied to make room for more to come.
Also - I'm intrigued about your question of the week. When you say "grip [your] soul" in the way that you do, interrogating how you spend your time, it implies that these tasks aren't something you want to continue doing. Is that true? Why? Or am I reading too much into it? I just think more people should do things that grip their soul and make them feel alive!
I’m glad the atmosphere landed with you. Storytelling can be tricky sometimes and I wasn’t sure if I painted the picture I wanted to capture.
Wow, I loved this: “Our hands are emptied to make room for more to come.” Beautiful.
Great questions. I completely agree on doing things that grip our soul and make us come alive. I think I’ve improved over the years at pouring more time into what gives me energy and grips my soul (writing and reading are big in this category) and avoiding what drains my batteries... but always more work to do!
Thank You, Tommy. I'm so grateful for this platform and it's encouragement of connecting with such interesting people we'd otherwise never get to meet.
I think we're much alike, because I'd say reading and writing grip my soul and make me feel energized and alive. Certain video games with a focus on skill and competition can give me a fulfilling sense of improvement when hard work begins to pay off. I'd also have to say an intentional consumption of media in general: great movies, great music, even great photography can enrich me.
Which reminds me - loving the photos you add to each post. You know the saying... a thousand words and what not. Great choice of words, then!
You’re so right on connected with like minded people. It’s such a gift.
Interesting point on video games. I got so immersed in them in high school but haven’t played much in recent years. Definitely nostalgic and would love to return to them some day.
I’m a huge proponent of intentional media consumption and I think you put it beautifully. Consuming great art, great works that people put a lot of love and time into.
Love the vibes man. Thanks so much for engaging and spending a bit of your time with me :)
Love how this turned out, Tommy. It's also a great reminder to practice letting go of unimportant stuff. It usually takes a tragedy to hit us to realize letting go of some, usually trivial, things is a great ability to have.
Coincidentally, I lost my Columbia cap I recently purchased for this same trip, hiking Laguna Esmeralda, just east of Ushuaia, with your brother a mere few days ago 😡. Will keep happening, me thinks. I guess if I am still around to lose things, that’s a good thing, right?? Plus, If that’s the worst thing that happens today....
Haha that’s a good way to think about it. You have to be alive and moving around and doing stuff (living!) to lose things. Better to have lived and lost ??
Caz! Thank you for reading & leaving such a beautiful reflection. Made my day.
I’m sorry you lost your purple scarf :( losing things can be existentially frustrating
I think your exactly right on material goods. The fewer things we own, the lighter we walk through this world. One of my favourite poems by Mary Oliver--Storage--is about this idea.
This was beautiful: “Letting go is a long, slow stroll, sometimes scenic, sometimes parched and brittle.”
Thank you again for your kind words. Hope you have a lovely weekend :)
Your piece forced me to wonder why that one long ago item sometimes still bothers me. Carelessness. It was my carelessness. Ugh. Have I lived my whole life being careless? Maybe.
I'm loving this tone that your writing is taking on. There's a freshness, candor, and wittiness to them somehow? It's morphing into something real special.
Enjoy your time home, Tommy! And may you find a new hat.
Thanks Becky :) kinda in a weird place with writing voice right now but figuring it out. But I REALLY appreciate the kind words & encouragement. Especially today.
Haha I have other hats, luckily. If losing a hat is the worst thing that happened on my trip, i'm doing pretty good :)
Letting go is important. My husband and I are releasing many belongings these days. I have no more patience to dust, store, organize, or remember the stuff I have collected over the years.
That said, I have also chosen to find ways to strengthen my hold on those irreplaceable possessions that enhance my enjoyment of life.
We have been traveling a lot. That’s a great way to discover what one likes, needs, and wants.
My cap can be hooked onto the small crossbody purse my daughter gave me. A fan fits into said bag. Rather than fifteen cards, I carry three. My small suitcase holds one change of shoes.
For almost a month, I made my way through the world having most of my needs met. Astonishing!
Yes, I missed my washer/dryer, soft bathrobe, piano, and grrrand-dogs. Some things are precious after all.
Packing light has its perks. Knowing what is essential is a vital skill.
Travel is such a powerful way to realize how little you need. With everything strapped onto your shoulders in a backpack or in a suitcase, you can separate the important necessities from the trivial many.
Thanks again for your beautiful reflections. I could bind these all into a book! (Maybe I will :) )
So many shiny lines to choose from Tommy. As a writer, I loved that you caught this from your muse and offered it to us:
“Surrender, perhaps.”
At age 57 I’ve discovered that surrender, and surrendering with grace, is an ultimate strength vs failure (which is how I perceived it at a younger age).
Thank you for reminding me. 🙏🙏
James! Thank you for reading & taking the time to leave a note. Makes me smile.
I love how perceptive you are in your reading. How you pull out these small lines that you suffuse with sacredity. So cool.
This was so good: “surrendering with grace, is an ultimate strength”. I think you’re exactly right. I’m slowly learning to surrender but it’s no easy feat.
Thanks again :) hope you have a lovely weekend
Loved this Tommy. Not sure if the closing line just came to you or you worked on it but it put a smile on my face that’s still there. You capture an important lesson that I think you keep coming back to, and also that we’ve messaged back and forth about. That lesson being “you can’t do it all so make good choices and enjoy the shit out of what you can do.” Welcome home 👊 🇨🇦
Grant, brought a big smile to see your name in the comments :)
Glad you liked that final line. Life is too serious to not smile and laugh at myself here and there.
I love this: “you can’t do it all so make good choices and enjoy the shit out of what you can do.” Such good wisdom to live by. Saving to my notes!
Thanks for the welcome home. Canada is such a special country. Hope you have a lovely weekend :)
Great story telling and lesson. Letting go is something we can all learn to get better at. Especially for those of us, myself at the front of that line, whose instinct is to grip tighter rather than to let go.
Always enjoy these essays. Thanks for writing brother.
Thanks Jackie boy. I’m always learning to let go, slowly & hopefully surely. Especially when there’s rationally no reason to grip tighter.
Appreciate the kind words :)
We had a cat exactly like that one at our place i Ushuaia. Just like wolf.
Hey Tommy! I’m heading to Argentina’s tiny neighbour, Uruguay, for the month of January. Once I worked myself through the jealousy of your 65 day journey I experienced pure excitement for exploring the streets of Latin American cities and dining as “statehouses” (asados ;)). The trip is to visit my partner’s family but I’m hoping we can find a way to swing over to Buenos Aires - Tim Ferris’s 4 hour work week inspired me to visit. If I do, and if you’re willing, I may seek your travel advice.
You have reminded me of the importance of staying hungry for new experiences while maintaining enough flexibility to take the opportunities when they come.
Thanks for sharing!
Evan! So good to hear from you man.
Haha I loved how honestly you walked through the process of jealousy to excitement. I definitely feel that man. Even while I’m in Argentina I see people in Thailand or even back at home with family and feel the vines of jealousy, or even just wondering if I should be somewhere else, grip me.
Uruguay is awesome from what I’ve heard! That sounds like an epic trip, especially to visit your partner’s family who are locals there.
Definitely shoot me a note if you go to Buenos Aires! I’ve already sent recommendations to a friend who asked and I have a pretty solid list after 40 days there.
Thanks again pal & hope you’re having a great weekend !
Tommy!!! Beautiful as always - your mind is a wonder.
This piece was so incredibly relatable. The disbelief when losing something, the panic feeling of thinking you may have lost it and saying to yourself “but I checked the whole room! Even under the bed!”. The amount of things I have lost while travelling, or just in general really, could fill a small vault. Every time I get so mad at myself and think if you had done this or done that, but our thoughts unfortunately cannot change our circumstances, only how we see them!
This was a lesson I had to learn early on due to the nature of my family’s expeditions (chaotic) and the nature of my composure (clumsy). If I were to get upset at every trivial thing that goes wrong then my life would be one of misery haha.
I loved what you said about losing something like a hat is just another way of the universe saying “It could have been worse”. And in those moments, it’s almost as if losing your hat was fate, like was set up as a check in for you to appreciate all the things you do have in life. As if there were more forces at work then just you having forgotten. Kind of pretty to think about.
Another note, loved the fact that you take your hat off in restaurants because you remember what your grandad taught you. I saw something recently that said isn’t it lovely the way that we are a mosaic of all of our favourite people and things and the way they emanate through our actions - kind of like when the sun lights up different parts of stained glass. We are all broken and painted different colours and it is the oddities that make us beautiful.
Also “We are all broken and painted different colours and it is the oddities that make us beautiful.” !!!
So so good
We both loved that last line, Tommy! I’ve only just now seen your comment! Snap! It’s is a beautiful line. I shall be robbing that going forward!:)
Rachel!! Wowza your comments are such a treat. Thank you for reading & such a beautiful reflection :)
Hahaha I’ve decided to budget for losing at least one thing every trip. It’s almost an expectation at this point. So when I inevitably do lose something, I’ve already budgeted for it. I also have a bad tendency of forgetting something while I pack, even some pretty important things you’d think I couldn’t possible forget.
I agree it’s so pretty to think about. Especially if I can reframe it from a disappointment to a reminder of how lucky I am. Life often really is just about our frame on things.
To your point on people, I don’t think anyone really dies. Not completely. I’ve written about it a bit before, but I think the people we love, the people in our lives, are embodied through us. In our habits, mannerisms, beliefs, etc. They live on through us, consciously and unconsciously, in a very real sense.
Thanks again for the note and hope you’re having a lovely weekend :)
Extremely well put!
‘We are all broken and painted different colours and it is the oddities that make us beautiful’.
Beautiful words. Really loved that last line. I can identify so strongly with the broken bit!
Haha thank you Kevin! I’m glad you liked it:))
Hello there ! You did provide a nudge to ponder upon the art of letting go . In the present age we are so much wide with world consciousness and so less deep with self consciousness . We often tend to stress on the fact that it's the little things that matter. But we also forget that being liberated is also a little thing we're bereft of . Letting go is important. However, i believe prior to it learning about and being aware of one's attachment style is more important. As Buddha has stated " The root cause to all suffering is attachment ". And i think that pretty much explains everything.
Thanks for the note Divyanshi. I appreciate you reading.
I love the Buddha quote on attachment. However, to my understanding, not attaching is the same thing as not clinging is the same thing as letting go. To me, it’s the same idea.
Interesting on attachment styles. From what I know the theory of attachment was originally developed by John Bowlby in the mid 1900’s which would be 2500 years after the Buddha lived. I’n not sure it carries the same depth and meaning and significance of thought, but I may be wrong.
Thanks again for your time
Those are some really interesting facts. However, i believe attachment and letting go can be two different things at times. Attachment may come way before letting go and it's nearly impossible for us human species to not possess the feeling of Attachment. Letting go is also more of detachment that one practices after getting attached. Like, we can see you were attached to that hat with varied levels of emotions and when you lost it you really felt bad. However, thereafter you practiced detachment here by letting it go. You still might be attached to a lot of things you wouldn't be aware of. And you are not detached from them. You're human and this definitely is a materialistic world. In Hinduism, according to Bhagvad Gita, getting rid of the feeling of Attachment and detachment begins by killing self ego and through self realisation by understanding and believing that the body and soul are two different entities and it will always remain so.
Really engaging article. The beginning especially was very evocative, I enjoyed the atmosphere so much. Thanks for writing and sorry about your hat. Often, our hands are emptied to make room for more to come.
Also - I'm intrigued about your question of the week. When you say "grip [your] soul" in the way that you do, interrogating how you spend your time, it implies that these tasks aren't something you want to continue doing. Is that true? Why? Or am I reading too much into it? I just think more people should do things that grip their soul and make them feel alive!
Anderson! Thanks so much pal.
I’m glad the atmosphere landed with you. Storytelling can be tricky sometimes and I wasn’t sure if I painted the picture I wanted to capture.
Wow, I loved this: “Our hands are emptied to make room for more to come.” Beautiful.
Great questions. I completely agree on doing things that grip our soul and make us come alive. I think I’ve improved over the years at pouring more time into what gives me energy and grips my soul (writing and reading are big in this category) and avoiding what drains my batteries... but always more work to do!
What about you? What activities “grip your soul”?
Thanks again for reading :)
Thank You, Tommy. I'm so grateful for this platform and it's encouragement of connecting with such interesting people we'd otherwise never get to meet.
I think we're much alike, because I'd say reading and writing grip my soul and make me feel energized and alive. Certain video games with a focus on skill and competition can give me a fulfilling sense of improvement when hard work begins to pay off. I'd also have to say an intentional consumption of media in general: great movies, great music, even great photography can enrich me.
Which reminds me - loving the photos you add to each post. You know the saying... a thousand words and what not. Great choice of words, then!
You’re so right on connected with like minded people. It’s such a gift.
Interesting point on video games. I got so immersed in them in high school but haven’t played much in recent years. Definitely nostalgic and would love to return to them some day.
I’m a huge proponent of intentional media consumption and I think you put it beautifully. Consuming great art, great works that people put a lot of love and time into.
Love the vibes man. Thanks so much for engaging and spending a bit of your time with me :)
Love how this turned out, Tommy. It's also a great reminder to practice letting go of unimportant stuff. It usually takes a tragedy to hit us to realize letting go of some, usually trivial, things is a great ability to have.
Thanks so much Catalina :) you were invaluable in helping this come together, especially with my long out of control sentences haha
This is so good: “It’s usually takes a tragedy to hit us to realize letting go of some, usually trivial, things is a great ability to have”
It’s sad we can’t manifest that same appreciation without the tragedy but it’s something we can’t continually strive towards.
Thanks again :) you’re the best
Always, always, always.... pet the cat
How can you not ? “Cool cat” is a compliment for a reason
Coincidentally, I lost my Columbia cap I recently purchased for this same trip, hiking Laguna Esmeralda, just east of Ushuaia, with your brother a mere few days ago 😡. Will keep happening, me thinks. I guess if I am still around to lose things, that’s a good thing, right?? Plus, If that’s the worst thing that happens today....
Haha that’s a good way to think about it. You have to be alive and moving around and doing stuff (living!) to lose things. Better to have lived and lost ??
Love you lots. Thanks Dad :)
I'm embarrassed to admit I still remember a beautiful purple scarf that I lost decades ago, at a time when I owned few, now I own dozens.
Material stuff doesn't matter, beyond basic needs, all the rest is sugar.
Lots of people stuff should be jettisoned on a regular basis.
Letting go is a long, slow stroll, sometimes scenic, sometimes parched and brittle.
Caz! Thank you for reading & leaving such a beautiful reflection. Made my day.
I’m sorry you lost your purple scarf :( losing things can be existentially frustrating
I think your exactly right on material goods. The fewer things we own, the lighter we walk through this world. One of my favourite poems by Mary Oliver--Storage--is about this idea.
This was beautiful: “Letting go is a long, slow stroll, sometimes scenic, sometimes parched and brittle.”
Thank you again for your kind words. Hope you have a lovely weekend :)
Your piece forced me to wonder why that one long ago item sometimes still bothers me. Carelessness. It was my carelessness. Ugh. Have I lived my whole life being careless? Maybe.
I feel you on carelessness. I often get frustrated with my past discretions.
From your thought and reflection, you don’t seem careless, if I’m not over reaching.
My friend has a tagline that she writes and reflects so she doesn’t stumble through life with her eyes closed.
It seems like your eyes are quite open :)
"always pet a cat when you encounter one on the street" ... this is a scalding hot take
Hah I was mostly ripping off one of the chapters from Jordan Peterson’s book I no longer remember
If it’s any consolation, I pat a bunch of dogs too
"pulses through the pavement" is SO GOOD.
I'm loving this tone that your writing is taking on. There's a freshness, candor, and wittiness to them somehow? It's morphing into something real special.
Enjoy your time home, Tommy! And may you find a new hat.
Thanks Becky :) kinda in a weird place with writing voice right now but figuring it out. But I REALLY appreciate the kind words & encouragement. Especially today.
Haha I have other hats, luckily. If losing a hat is the worst thing that happened on my trip, i'm doing pretty good :)
What a captivating story with a captivating lesson. Your words jump off the page with truth.
Thank you for the outpouring of what is most on your mind lately.
I am grateful for the reminder.
Means a lot Anthony. Thank you for reading & the kind words my friend.
Outpouring of what is most on my mind is a great way to describe my writing haha
Hope you have a lovely week :)
Love that.
You too my friend!
Letting go is important. My husband and I are releasing many belongings these days. I have no more patience to dust, store, organize, or remember the stuff I have collected over the years.
That said, I have also chosen to find ways to strengthen my hold on those irreplaceable possessions that enhance my enjoyment of life.
We have been traveling a lot. That’s a great way to discover what one likes, needs, and wants.
My cap can be hooked onto the small crossbody purse my daughter gave me. A fan fits into said bag. Rather than fifteen cards, I carry three. My small suitcase holds one change of shoes.
For almost a month, I made my way through the world having most of my needs met. Astonishing!
Yes, I missed my washer/dryer, soft bathrobe, piano, and grrrand-dogs. Some things are precious after all.
Packing light has its perks. Knowing what is essential is a vital skill.
J.T. I love this so much.
There’s something so special about having fewer belongings but those you keep are more meaningful.
Have you read Storage by Mary Oliver? Your words made me immediately think of it. (Linking here: https://apoemaday.tumblr.com/post/681712853114404864/storage/amp)
Travel is such a powerful way to realize how little you need. With everything strapped onto your shoulders in a backpack or in a suitcase, you can separate the important necessities from the trivial many.
Thanks again for your beautiful reflections. I could bind these all into a book! (Maybe I will :) )
Tommy! Mary Oliver often speaks my innermost thoughts out loud. “Storage” is another gem. Thank you for pointing me toward it.
Tommy, your replies are like little gifts. Thank you!
I write books, but the thought of a small volume of personal reflections is appealing. Great idea!
And loved the snaps, Tommy. You packed a lot into your essay, I forgot to mention.👏👊