I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! As someone whose entire career is online, I often question the idea of whether the online world is “reality”. For many, it’s their only reality, and not by choice. I wonder if the question is moe about how we engage with the world (both on- and offline). Having a meaningful conversation about some art we encounter that moves us is so much more alive than the passive consumption of scrolling and empty likes.
But of course no amount of inspiring online things can ever replace the healing salve that is having your hands intertwined with a ball of fresh sourdough, or a used book with some stranger’s scribbles in it. I guess I just see both as being part of the delicate dance of being alive in 2024.
Thank you Margarita, I deeply appreciate you reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection here. I totally agree it matters how we engage with the online world (or world in general). Passive vs active. Intentional vs unintentional. I try to pay attention to the emotional valence that surrounds my online activities. Some make me feel expansive and light and filled with wonder, some small and muddled and lost. Or, also my mood that day, time and place.
Also "the delicate dance of being alive" is so good. Thank you for being here (:
What if the most extraordinary moments of your life are actually the most ordinary ones? We often focus on life’s major events - vacations, birthdays, career milestones - but these are rare occurrences in the grand scheme of things, hardly making up the majority of life. An average life consists of around 29,000 days, and the vast majority of these days are filled with routine activities: sleeping, cooking, eating, working, and attending to the countless other tasks that keep our lives running smoothly.
It’s easy to overlook the significance of these ordinary days and the moments that comprise them, dismissing them as unimportant compared to the bigger, more memorable events. I believe that to be a large mistake. These very moments warrant attention and should be elevated with greater significance.
As Annie Dillard observed, how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. The small actions, choices, and moments that make up each day shape our experiences, relationships, and the very quality of our existence—they are the substance of our lives. These mundane experiences, often taken for granted, are the essential components of our lives.
Rising with the sun, preparing food, performing work, conversing with friends and strangers, winding down as daylight fades, turning in to sleep. These routine acts are integral to our daily life. Rather than going through these motions thoughtlessly, there is great meaning in performing even the most mundane tasks with care, earnestness, and attention.
How might your life change if you brought more intention to elevating these daily routines? Arranging your meal with an eye for detail, speaking to others with sincere interest and kindness, and approaching your work with diligence and pride. Over time, this practice will lead to a life of greater fulfillment. While these actions may seem trivial in isolation, their cumulative effect is significant.
“Days build life” serves as a reminder that the richness and depth of our lives are not found solely in the grand, extraordinary events, but in the way we choose to engage with the seemingly mundane moments that make up our daily existence. Actively seeking to elevate the ordinary, to find meaning and beauty in the everyday, and in result building a life of meaning and beauty.
This is not a call for mere gratitude or acknowledgment, but a summons to intentionally craft a life where the sacred is integrated into the ordinary.
Love this! Everyday I remind myself of this as I anchor myself to the present moment raising my daughter (there is no choice but to be present honestly haha).
I try to make the mundane as magical as I can, realising that the sum of all these little moments amount to the whole of my daughter’s childhood and of course my own adult life as well. I think as Mothers we often wait to get back to ‘ourselves’ or wait for things to get easier (that never happens lol), instead of just accepting this is life and hard isn’t always bad. And the notion that life should be easy, a fairytale - we all hopefully learn this was a fantasy we were sold to take the contentment from ordinary life from us.
Love this piece. Reminds me, funny enough, of the conversation I had with my family last night. Admittedly, I’m quite guilty of believing the grass is greener on the other side… You’ve managed to illustrate simultaneously that, on the one hand, the grass is not greener on the other side and, on the other hand, it is, in a way, part of the human experience to believe the grass is greener on the other side. And therefore, that we mustn’t be ashamed for, but accepting of how we feel about life. That there’s no need to be anywhere else. That we’re right where we’re supposed to be, even and perhaps especially when we feel like we’re not.
Awesome piece, Tommy. Beautifully written. Really loved reading life from your perspective. I’m also guilty of waiting until that day when I finally make that leap. I agree that we tend to pay for the future with the present as you so eloquently said. And what matters more than the present, the thing we are most able to mold right now. Learning to appreciate each moment for what it is and love ourselves as we are. This is it. Wonderful message.
Your words reminded me of an except of a David Foster Wallace commencement speech turned into a YouTube video. Tangentially related. You may enjoy if you aren’t already familiar.
Thank you Greg, really appreciate the kind words and you taking the time to write such a beautiful reflection here. "We tend to pay for the future with the present" is a profound way of putting it. It's a delicate balance because we do need to prepare for the future and it's lovely to have a vision that excites us, things to look forward to, yet it's dangerous to discount the present, always live a little out infront of our feet, if that makes sense.
Haha I love DFW and This Is Water in particular. I've probably read and listened to it 20 times.
Just read this as you linked it from a more recent piece! Couple things I want to remember:
"Most of my life has been spent waiting. For life to begin. Real life. Waiting to overcome some obstacle, get through a big test or small task or dull month." Lived this way too for so long and still fall into it so much of the time. For me it manifests as this "needing to find an answer to everything" mindset where I'm always trying to "**extract** something from life.
"There are differences, but they are minor and remote. We are all on a similar boat, crossing an unknown sea. Unsure if our path is the best path. Unsure what will come next." Loved the preceding paragraph where you went deep into all the people and their different walks, yet they're still all the same more or less. Great section.
One thing I was curious about: "Until I realized that my life was these obstacles..." How did you eventually realize this? What prompted it? Was it gradual or slow?
Also, you mentioned "a friend who quit working for that consulting firm to host psychedelic retreats"... I may know that guy!
Hahaha thank you Jeremy :) big smile to see your name in the comments
To answer your question, I think it was a slow dawning realization from repeatedly looking forward to, getting excited about the future, some next arrival, and then repeatedly stubbing my toe on the realization there was only another horizon, another hill to climb and the romantic visions forgot to include all the gritty and mundane parts of everyday life.
I found this so moving and motivating. I’ve been feeling similar things, noticing moments of clarity that I am missing the point. But hadn’t crystallised in to words. Thank you.
Excellent piece. Essentially the human conundrum. I feel like I was born nostalgic, always looking at the past and anticipating loss in the future.
I remind myself most days that mundane things are life. Life is brushing your teeth and making tea and shopping for groceries. Life is the small things and honestly, love. Life is about my loved ones. At least imo.
Great piece. Real life is about finding inspiration in the mundane as well as those moments that are so perfect you’re stopped in your tracks and those that reach inside you so deep it hurts.
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! As someone whose entire career is online, I often question the idea of whether the online world is “reality”. For many, it’s their only reality, and not by choice. I wonder if the question is moe about how we engage with the world (both on- and offline). Having a meaningful conversation about some art we encounter that moves us is so much more alive than the passive consumption of scrolling and empty likes.
But of course no amount of inspiring online things can ever replace the healing salve that is having your hands intertwined with a ball of fresh sourdough, or a used book with some stranger’s scribbles in it. I guess I just see both as being part of the delicate dance of being alive in 2024.
Thank you Margarita, I deeply appreciate you reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection here. I totally agree it matters how we engage with the online world (or world in general). Passive vs active. Intentional vs unintentional. I try to pay attention to the emotional valence that surrounds my online activities. Some make me feel expansive and light and filled with wonder, some small and muddled and lost. Or, also my mood that day, time and place.
Also "the delicate dance of being alive" is so good. Thank you for being here (:
Great piece, I wrote a similar complimenting piece, pasted from my site https://m-chael.com/days-build-life:
What if the most extraordinary moments of your life are actually the most ordinary ones? We often focus on life’s major events - vacations, birthdays, career milestones - but these are rare occurrences in the grand scheme of things, hardly making up the majority of life. An average life consists of around 29,000 days, and the vast majority of these days are filled with routine activities: sleeping, cooking, eating, working, and attending to the countless other tasks that keep our lives running smoothly.
It’s easy to overlook the significance of these ordinary days and the moments that comprise them, dismissing them as unimportant compared to the bigger, more memorable events. I believe that to be a large mistake. These very moments warrant attention and should be elevated with greater significance.
As Annie Dillard observed, how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. The small actions, choices, and moments that make up each day shape our experiences, relationships, and the very quality of our existence—they are the substance of our lives. These mundane experiences, often taken for granted, are the essential components of our lives.
Rising with the sun, preparing food, performing work, conversing with friends and strangers, winding down as daylight fades, turning in to sleep. These routine acts are integral to our daily life. Rather than going through these motions thoughtlessly, there is great meaning in performing even the most mundane tasks with care, earnestness, and attention.
How might your life change if you brought more intention to elevating these daily routines? Arranging your meal with an eye for detail, speaking to others with sincere interest and kindness, and approaching your work with diligence and pride. Over time, this practice will lead to a life of greater fulfillment. While these actions may seem trivial in isolation, their cumulative effect is significant.
“Days build life” serves as a reminder that the richness and depth of our lives are not found solely in the grand, extraordinary events, but in the way we choose to engage with the seemingly mundane moments that make up our daily existence. Actively seeking to elevate the ordinary, to find meaning and beauty in the everyday, and in result building a life of meaning and beauty.
This is not a call for mere gratitude or acknowledgment, but a summons to intentionally craft a life where the sacred is integrated into the ordinary.
Thanks Michael, for reading and leaving such a long and thought out reflection. Made my day (: appreciate you presence here
Love this! Everyday I remind myself of this as I anchor myself to the present moment raising my daughter (there is no choice but to be present honestly haha).
I try to make the mundane as magical as I can, realising that the sum of all these little moments amount to the whole of my daughter’s childhood and of course my own adult life as well. I think as Mothers we often wait to get back to ‘ourselves’ or wait for things to get easier (that never happens lol), instead of just accepting this is life and hard isn’t always bad. And the notion that life should be easy, a fairytale - we all hopefully learn this was a fantasy we were sold to take the contentment from ordinary life from us.
Thank you Ciara, for reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection.
"I try to make the mundane as magical as I can" especially is so good. Appreciate your presence and love here (:
Love this piece. Reminds me, funny enough, of the conversation I had with my family last night. Admittedly, I’m quite guilty of believing the grass is greener on the other side… You’ve managed to illustrate simultaneously that, on the one hand, the grass is not greener on the other side and, on the other hand, it is, in a way, part of the human experience to believe the grass is greener on the other side. And therefore, that we mustn’t be ashamed for, but accepting of how we feel about life. That there’s no need to be anywhere else. That we’re right where we’re supposed to be, even and perhaps especially when we feel like we’re not.
Thank you Ryan, for reading and writing such a beautiful reflection here. Deeply appreciate your time and presence (:
Absolutely
Awesome piece, Tommy. Beautifully written. Really loved reading life from your perspective. I’m also guilty of waiting until that day when I finally make that leap. I agree that we tend to pay for the future with the present as you so eloquently said. And what matters more than the present, the thing we are most able to mold right now. Learning to appreciate each moment for what it is and love ourselves as we are. This is it. Wonderful message.
Your words reminded me of an except of a David Foster Wallace commencement speech turned into a YouTube video. Tangentially related. You may enjoy if you aren’t already familiar.
https://youtu.be/eC7xzavzEKY?si=MXPtTT3bVoKu7p7o
Thank you Greg, really appreciate the kind words and you taking the time to write such a beautiful reflection here. "We tend to pay for the future with the present" is a profound way of putting it. It's a delicate balance because we do need to prepare for the future and it's lovely to have a vision that excites us, things to look forward to, yet it's dangerous to discount the present, always live a little out infront of our feet, if that makes sense.
Haha I love DFW and This Is Water in particular. I've probably read and listened to it 20 times.
Appreciate you being here (:
Just read this as you linked it from a more recent piece! Couple things I want to remember:
"Most of my life has been spent waiting. For life to begin. Real life. Waiting to overcome some obstacle, get through a big test or small task or dull month." Lived this way too for so long and still fall into it so much of the time. For me it manifests as this "needing to find an answer to everything" mindset where I'm always trying to "**extract** something from life.
"There are differences, but they are minor and remote. We are all on a similar boat, crossing an unknown sea. Unsure if our path is the best path. Unsure what will come next." Loved the preceding paragraph where you went deep into all the people and their different walks, yet they're still all the same more or less. Great section.
One thing I was curious about: "Until I realized that my life was these obstacles..." How did you eventually realize this? What prompted it? Was it gradual or slow?
Also, you mentioned "a friend who quit working for that consulting firm to host psychedelic retreats"... I may know that guy!
Hahaha thank you Jeremy :) big smile to see your name in the comments
To answer your question, I think it was a slow dawning realization from repeatedly looking forward to, getting excited about the future, some next arrival, and then repeatedly stubbing my toe on the realization there was only another horizon, another hill to climb and the romantic visions forgot to include all the gritty and mundane parts of everyday life.
I found this so moving and motivating. I’ve been feeling similar things, noticing moments of clarity that I am missing the point. But hadn’t crystallised in to words. Thank you.
Thank you for reading Liz & the kind words (: appreciate you being here
I have no idea why this showed up in my feed today but I am elated that it did. Beautifully written. Thanks Tommy.
Ha thank you Laura, I appreciate you being here (:
I needed to read this so badly, it showed up for me at the exact right time- right now. ❤️ thank you
So glad to hear Jesse, thank you for reading (:
Beautiful stuff ❤️
Thank you (:
joyously written ♥︎
Thank you (:
Excellent piece. Essentially the human conundrum. I feel like I was born nostalgic, always looking at the past and anticipating loss in the future.
I remind myself most days that mundane things are life. Life is brushing your teeth and making tea and shopping for groceries. Life is the small things and honestly, love. Life is about my loved ones. At least imo.
Thank you Alexandra, appreciate you reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection. Couldn't agree more. Small things and love.
Great piece. Real life is about finding inspiration in the mundane as well as those moments that are so perfect you’re stopped in your tracks and those that reach inside you so deep it hurts.
Thank you Carol (:
Saving this. Thank you
Thank you Jen (:
“heaven is here and this is it. No waiting. No arrival.” - thank you for this
Thank you for reading Jonathan (:
Beautifully written!
Thank you (: