Thank you Bennett, so good to hear from you man. It's the monster I'm in the midst of battling too, and I'm glad it was able to find you at the right time.
Awesome piece, Tommy. You know, it's incredible how similar everyone's experiences in their 20's and 30's seem to be. When we're in the midst of it, we think (or at least subconsciously feel like) we're alone. But then we read something like this, and we realize we're all in it together. Of course, we can only ever put one foot in front of the other, an often terrifying march . . . The uncertainty of these transitory decades can paralyze us if we forget how little we actually have control of. Ultimately, however, as you said before, even this is part of the process--of life itself.
Thank you, Mohammad, it's so good to hear from you my friend and I love the reflection here on finding a partner. I think friends of friends are great entry points to meeting people, in general, but seem to be the way many people find partners.
Thank you Monica, I really appreciate you reading & being here. From what I can tell, almost everyone ails from either too much or too little introspection. It's the constant balancing act of thinking vs doing, contemplation vs action. There's no way to get it right, I think, we all get it at least a little wrong, but it's the attempt to balance, the striving, that's beautiful.
“The trap I fall into is letting my fondness for an ideal future become a fixation on fantasy. Dazed by the divine image of how things could look, instead of working with the raw and gritty reality of my real life.” 👆I relate to this so much. 🙏
that wisdom is like building a beautiful story you can exist inside of.
Writing about wisdom is SO TOUGH ... and applaud you for this piece. Universally relevant and also respectful of difference. Right up my alley!
this piece also deepened my connection with you (I shared your essay on the end of our internet era with my classes this year). I'm glad to see that you are scheduling some "career conversations" over the winter months... a key part of good life design, according to Burnett and Evans, is having the kinds of prototype conversations that expand your vision of the beautiful lives emerging.
If you want to dialogue about academic and para-academic programs for lifelong learning that we've been exploring, hmu
Thank you Sean, I deeply appreciate you reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection here. That one line took a lot of writing and rewriting to try to get right, so I'm glad you took notice. Writing is always the process of putting a bunch of stuff down on paper and then asking myself "Do I really believe this?" or "Is this really true?" until all the extraneous stuff is chiseled away.
I think conservations can be a pathway of surprise and discovery. Especially suspending judgment of what I think I know vs what I'm actually being told.
And thank you for the offer to talk. I just might take you up on that in the coming months.
Thanks again. Hope your November weekend was lovely (:
Thank you James, it always brings a smile to my face to see your words here. The quote really sums up the essay and it's the way I'm personally shrinking this idea down to fit in my pocket on day to day life. To live like a river, to be open to surprise, to unfold.
Thank you Anthony, really appreciate you reading & the kind words. Hubert Robert is an excellent painter and his work tends to revolve around old ruins being restored and regentrified. Things that last, perhaps. So much that they outlast their creator and intended purposes.
Thank you Svitlana, it's so good to hear from you and I appreciate the kind words. I hope SF and work is treating you well & you're able to find reasonably priced blueberries still.
Hard disagree with the general sentiment and some of the concretes here. Was going to explain, will write a book instead. To an extent I did agree with your idea of “sallying forth” though.
This was the right essay I needed to read at the right time. Thanks Tommy
Thank you Bennett, so good to hear from you man. It's the monster I'm in the midst of battling too, and I'm glad it was able to find you at the right time.
Keep well & keep in touch (:
Realism at it's best. Thanks Tommy.
So good, once again, Tommy. :)
Thank you Mariah 🫶
Awesome piece, Tommy. You know, it's incredible how similar everyone's experiences in their 20's and 30's seem to be. When we're in the midst of it, we think (or at least subconsciously feel like) we're alone. But then we read something like this, and we realize we're all in it together. Of course, we can only ever put one foot in front of the other, an often terrifying march . . . The uncertainty of these transitory decades can paralyze us if we forget how little we actually have control of. Ultimately, however, as you said before, even this is part of the process--of life itself.
Thank you Ryan (: for reading & such a lovely reflection. There's a beauty in realizing we are all alone together.
Absolutely, and there sure is!
This is such a beautiful piece.
Looking forward to reading about the next stage in your journey.
Thank you Claire, appreciate you reading & the kind words (:
Thank you for the reminder that uncertainty in life can be beautiful. That some things are meant to be crashed into, not planned.
Thank you Nat, appreciate you reading & your kind words. The uncertainty is both beautiful and terrifying, but that's life, you know?
As usual, exquisite writing Tommy.
When it comes to finding a partner, I agree that if you start with specific qualities, you'll have a more difficult time.
I like to approach it by looking at the friends I have and the people I enjoy being around and use that as clues for a future partner.
The reasoning being is that if I can't see myself being friends with my future partner, then it's harder seeing the romantic potential.
Thank you, Mohammad, it's so good to hear from you my friend and I love the reflection here on finding a partner. I think friends of friends are great entry points to meeting people, in general, but seem to be the way many people find partners.
Keep well & keep in touch (:
I love this piece, Tommy. It really resonates. Thank you, as always.
Thank you Karyn, I really appreciate you reading & being here. Hope you had a lovely November weekend (:
A great piece. I was lucky, but I think more introspection would have been better for the choices I ultimately made.
Thank you Monica, I really appreciate you reading & being here. From what I can tell, almost everyone ails from either too much or too little introspection. It's the constant balancing act of thinking vs doing, contemplation vs action. There's no way to get it right, I think, we all get it at least a little wrong, but it's the attempt to balance, the striving, that's beautiful.
“The trap I fall into is letting my fondness for an ideal future become a fixation on fantasy. Dazed by the divine image of how things could look, instead of working with the raw and gritty reality of my real life.” 👆I relate to this so much. 🙏
Thank you Tara, really appreciate you reading & being here. Hope you had a lovely November weekend (:
Tommy! I love your definition of wisdom:
that wisdom is like building a beautiful story you can exist inside of.
Writing about wisdom is SO TOUGH ... and applaud you for this piece. Universally relevant and also respectful of difference. Right up my alley!
this piece also deepened my connection with you (I shared your essay on the end of our internet era with my classes this year). I'm glad to see that you are scheduling some "career conversations" over the winter months... a key part of good life design, according to Burnett and Evans, is having the kinds of prototype conversations that expand your vision of the beautiful lives emerging.
If you want to dialogue about academic and para-academic programs for lifelong learning that we've been exploring, hmu
Thank you Sean, I deeply appreciate you reading and leaving such a beautiful reflection here. That one line took a lot of writing and rewriting to try to get right, so I'm glad you took notice. Writing is always the process of putting a bunch of stuff down on paper and then asking myself "Do I really believe this?" or "Is this really true?" until all the extraneous stuff is chiseled away.
I think conservations can be a pathway of surprise and discovery. Especially suspending judgment of what I think I know vs what I'm actually being told.
And thank you for the offer to talk. I just might take you up on that in the coming months.
Thanks again. Hope your November weekend was lovely (:
yeah buddy -- looking forward to connecting.
Amazing essay Tommy, and to think you cut 90% of it!
I loved the John O’Donohue quote at the beginning. And I loved the metaphor of surprise as soap - what powerful distinction to embrace.
Thank you for lifting up my Saturday morning.
Thank you James, it always brings a smile to my face to see your words here. The quote really sums up the essay and it's the way I'm personally shrinking this idea down to fit in my pocket on day to day life. To live like a river, to be open to surprise, to unfold.
Thanks for writing this. It's very uplifting and inspires courage. I've never seen that Roman ruins painting before, either
Thank you Anthony, really appreciate you reading & the kind words. Hubert Robert is an excellent painter and his work tends to revolve around old ruins being restored and regentrified. Things that last, perhaps. So much that they outlast their creator and intended purposes.
I see much growth in you as a Writer, Tommy. Appreciate the chance to peak into your world. Thank you for sharing this.
On similar theme, you might enjoy this writing: https://www.henrikkarlsson.xyz/p/unfolding
Thank you Svitlana, it's so good to hear from you and I appreciate the kind words. I hope SF and work is treating you well & you're able to find reasonably priced blueberries still.
Hard disagree with the general sentiment and some of the concretes here. Was going to explain, will write a book instead. To an extent I did agree with your idea of “sallying forth” though.