Thank you for sharing this experience. I do not attend a church, so I don't get to experience or reflect on the skills that are demonstrated by inspired ministers in the realm of speaking and storytelling. As I relished the entirety of this piece I reached the last words of the final footnote. "But I do know, when it comes to God, people are not all talking about the same thing." And it struck me how incredibly ironic it is (and perhaps heartbreaking to God) that people throughout time have struck each other down for thinking and talking differently about God. May the "goodness of being" as you've called it, prevail in all of our searches.
Thanks for the note, Rick. I feel like I should almost be paying you for your weekly insight & reflection.
Heartbreaking is right. If there is a God, he is transcendent beyond the clumsy confines of words. I don’t think it really matters telling people you believe in God or don’t, because it means completely different things to people.
And I really believe ancient people weren’t stupid. I don’t think they built 300 year cathedrals at immense expense under the “Man in the sky” hypothesis.
Thank you as always for being such a great support. This essay was scary to send out as it’s a tough topic to traverse.
I celebrate your courage to share yourself Tommy. This is beautiful. "If there is a God, he is transcendent beyond the clumsy confines of words." Keep this one somewhere for sharing. You are an exceptional writer and thinker. It's a pleasure to follow along and engage. The gratitude is mutual.
That line at the end is brilliant! I forgot to mention it. The divisions within the faith can prove disheartening for those who are trying to find their feet in their spiritual journey. I try not to get bogged down by labels, and concentrate instead on attempting to build a personal relationship with God. On a good day. When I hit a bump in the road, it’s an automatic reflex action to try and remedy the situation…
This reminds me of the Buddhist maxim that we are the source of our own suffering.
Your essay brings to mind several things for me. First, is that “faith” if you leave religion aside, is “not knowing.” Getting comfortable, practicing “not knowing” and “trusting” strengthens one’s faith. Second, wanting to know, and trying to control, at their root, come from “fear”. Fear that something isn’t going to go the way you want. We attach ourselves to outcomes, and then try with our might to manifest that particular outcome. When we act with intention and let go of an exact outcome, trusting that the right one will manifest, we don’t suffer AND we are blown away by outcomes that are WAY better than the ones that we imagined and were trying to control for.
It’s easier for me at my age to see this, since I spent the first 40 years of my life acting from this place of fear and suffering, having things not turn out the way I’d hoped, only to see later why they didn’t and see why the outcome that came to pass was right. How did I know it was right? Because it was the one that occurred :)
Last, I’m a very spiritual person, and sometimes I think of God as “the universal connection” between us all. So many people get hung up on God they lose sight of the lesson in the sermon you wrote about. For the non-devout, Who has the Rope? Something much bigger than them, and the person at the other end. Something so big and inconceivable, something universal. To believe that requires faith, trust, and humility.
Im grateful to have a hand on your rope and that you have a hand on mine.
In the words of your brother Jack - much love to you.
(I wrote this in a parking lot and didn’t proof it. I hope there aren’t lots of errors.)
James, this comment was so good. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reflection (and incredibly impressive for being in a parking lot!!)
I’m also slowly learning the same lesson. I look back at things I wanted to work out so badly (and how upset I was when they didn’t) and feel profoundly grateful for my life would have been much smaller if I had got what I wanted.
It was a tricky topic to navigate as it can be so polarizing to talk about God. I’m still not sure what I mean when I say it. Right now it’s a belief that Being js good and properly ordered and suffering is meaningful. I’m not sure how it’ll change. Faith escapes putting a finger on.
I almost added in - I feel like the people in my life hold the rope too. They hold the foundation my life rests on. I’m grateful you’re a friend and help me hold the rope on my interest for ideas and love to write.
Thank you again & I hope you’re having a lovely weekend (: we will have to touch base soon !!
Loved this Tommy boy. Beautifully descriptive writing as always but I really relate to and admire the message you pulled from it: trusting in yourself. We’ve talked about this tons, but it’s so important. Not trying to control the future but just staying on The Path and doing The Work. Focusing on what you can control and letting the outcomes be. Simple stuff yet it’s so hard. I’m right there with you learning to trust myself. Not easy, but worth it. One day I’m sure we’ll both look back on our journeys and wish we could be back here. And at the end of it all, we die and everything goes to zero. So if we’re not having fun along the way, we’re doing something wrong.
Thanks for reading & the note Jack. Your comments are always special to read.
I think you’re exactly right at the end. We’ll look back and wonder why we didn’t trust ourselves more, why we doubted at all. Trust is easy to say but hard to do. Every time I feel worry or uncertainty float to the surface I’m just trying to remind myself that life is good and I’m on the path and things will all find their way. I’m part observer anyways.
Noha! Thank you for reading & I’m so happy it resonated (:
I came at this much more from the perspective of trust and lifting the burden of knowing off my shoulders. I’m very much still figuring out the religious component.
Yes I could very much see that it was from that perspective. To me, they are one and the same but I can appreciate that it's not the same for everyone.
Fascinating read, Tommy. I think we are on the same page in our inability to articulate exactly what we mean when attempting to describe God. The God of my limited understanding is a God far to powerful to be understood.
Trusting that that rope is in safe hands can be so easily forgotten, despite our best efforts to the contrary. We automatically try to run the show of life ourselves, from the moment we open our eyes in the morning. And I, for one, invariably run into all manner of trouble as a result. The conditioning of the mind begins when we are babies, reinforced constantly from all directions as we grow. I’m resigned to the thought that it may take me as long to drop these ingrained habitual tendencies, attempting to play God in my life, as well as others, taking their problems on and ‘fixing’ them. The ego on steroids. Your experience at that church sounds great. I’m happy for you, mo chāra. Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. Inspirational stuff. Take care.👏✍️🙏
Definitely sounds like we’re thinking along similar lines. I’m very early into this exploration-not sure even why I’m exactly called to it-and trying to approach with an open mind and suspend a lot of my modern cynicism and judgement of religion or religious belief.
I think playing God in our own life is exactly right. Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings to hint at the hell that man falls into when he tries to play God. Yet there is that desire in us to be God-like. All powerful and immortal. I’m trying to slowly release my desire to be God-like and really settle into my role as a man. A big part of that it seems is accepting how much I don’t know, how much I can’t know, but smiling at it still.
Thank you for reading & your insightful and kind comments. It’s great to hear from you Kevin (:
‘A big part of that is accepting how much I don’t know, how much I can’t know, but smiling at it still.’
Exactly, my friend. Humility, in realising we know so little about so much, acceptance that our scope for acquiring it is outweighed by the sheer enormity of the task, and that time will eventually bring the curtain down on our unfinished project, and remembering to put our best foot forward no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in. Trusting God to keep a tight grip on that rope, while we keep our side of the bargain. Fulfilling our potential to the best of our abilities. Displaying kindness and compassion to all the people we encounter on our journey, as naturally as we breathe, as our true nature blossoms. Smiling is still tax free, so let’s take advantage of that while we can, eh?
Substack is a fantastic place for me toncome and keep that ego in check. The quality of the work on display is incredible. A little daunting at first, at least it was for me. Thanks again for sharing, Tommy. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my thoughts on God, and how I am to build a better relationship between God and myself. Keep smiling, Tommy. And writing. Take care mo chāra.👏✍️🙏
I’ve been struggling a lot lately and this was nice to read. I love that Rilke quote. It’s one of my favorites. I have it written at the beginning of my journal. To help with my struggle instead of asking “why me”, I ask myself why not me, why not now, why not this? I also tell myself “This is something that happens to people”. For some reason it reminds me to not think of myself as special and more connected to the world. Always look forward to your writing, Tommy. Sometimes I think maybe I should start writing here on Substack. Have a good week.
J, thank you for reading and being such a kind support, as always. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through a tough time but I’m glad this resonated.
Rilke is such an incredible poet and one I want to explore much more. His ideas on letting pain work on you, not questioning it because you don’t know where it may lead you, really stuck with me. He celebrates the beauty and intensity of experience and rejects the labels of “good” or “bad.
I love the questions and the idea of feeling more connected - it’s comforting to know we’re not alone, even in our experiences that feel personal and unique.
Thank you for reading & hope you have a lovely weekend (:
Definitely write on Substack if you want to - would 100% encourage it!
...reminds me of a hanging in my grandparents bathroom (the classic footsteps story)...faith is a wondrous thing brother...hard to find sometimes but always there waiting for you...
Thank you for sharing this experience. I do not attend a church, so I don't get to experience or reflect on the skills that are demonstrated by inspired ministers in the realm of speaking and storytelling. As I relished the entirety of this piece I reached the last words of the final footnote. "But I do know, when it comes to God, people are not all talking about the same thing." And it struck me how incredibly ironic it is (and perhaps heartbreaking to God) that people throughout time have struck each other down for thinking and talking differently about God. May the "goodness of being" as you've called it, prevail in all of our searches.
Thanks for the note, Rick. I feel like I should almost be paying you for your weekly insight & reflection.
Heartbreaking is right. If there is a God, he is transcendent beyond the clumsy confines of words. I don’t think it really matters telling people you believe in God or don’t, because it means completely different things to people.
And I really believe ancient people weren’t stupid. I don’t think they built 300 year cathedrals at immense expense under the “Man in the sky” hypothesis.
Thank you as always for being such a great support. This essay was scary to send out as it’s a tough topic to traverse.
Appreciate you (:
I celebrate your courage to share yourself Tommy. This is beautiful. "If there is a God, he is transcendent beyond the clumsy confines of words." Keep this one somewhere for sharing. You are an exceptional writer and thinker. It's a pleasure to follow along and engage. The gratitude is mutual.
Thank you Rick (: means a lot. I will.
That line at the end is brilliant! I forgot to mention it. The divisions within the faith can prove disheartening for those who are trying to find their feet in their spiritual journey. I try not to get bogged down by labels, and concentrate instead on attempting to build a personal relationship with God. On a good day. When I hit a bump in the road, it’s an automatic reflex action to try and remedy the situation…
Tommy -a beautiful and thought provoking essay.
“It’s this needing to know that plants the pain.”
This reminds me of the Buddhist maxim that we are the source of our own suffering.
Your essay brings to mind several things for me. First, is that “faith” if you leave religion aside, is “not knowing.” Getting comfortable, practicing “not knowing” and “trusting” strengthens one’s faith. Second, wanting to know, and trying to control, at their root, come from “fear”. Fear that something isn’t going to go the way you want. We attach ourselves to outcomes, and then try with our might to manifest that particular outcome. When we act with intention and let go of an exact outcome, trusting that the right one will manifest, we don’t suffer AND we are blown away by outcomes that are WAY better than the ones that we imagined and were trying to control for.
It’s easier for me at my age to see this, since I spent the first 40 years of my life acting from this place of fear and suffering, having things not turn out the way I’d hoped, only to see later why they didn’t and see why the outcome that came to pass was right. How did I know it was right? Because it was the one that occurred :)
Last, I’m a very spiritual person, and sometimes I think of God as “the universal connection” between us all. So many people get hung up on God they lose sight of the lesson in the sermon you wrote about. For the non-devout, Who has the Rope? Something much bigger than them, and the person at the other end. Something so big and inconceivable, something universal. To believe that requires faith, trust, and humility.
Im grateful to have a hand on your rope and that you have a hand on mine.
In the words of your brother Jack - much love to you.
(I wrote this in a parking lot and didn’t proof it. I hope there aren’t lots of errors.)
James, this comment was so good. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reflection (and incredibly impressive for being in a parking lot!!)
I’m also slowly learning the same lesson. I look back at things I wanted to work out so badly (and how upset I was when they didn’t) and feel profoundly grateful for my life would have been much smaller if I had got what I wanted.
It was a tricky topic to navigate as it can be so polarizing to talk about God. I’m still not sure what I mean when I say it. Right now it’s a belief that Being js good and properly ordered and suffering is meaningful. I’m not sure how it’ll change. Faith escapes putting a finger on.
I almost added in - I feel like the people in my life hold the rope too. They hold the foundation my life rests on. I’m grateful you’re a friend and help me hold the rope on my interest for ideas and love to write.
Thank you again & I hope you’re having a lovely weekend (: we will have to touch base soon !!
Loved this Tommy boy. Beautifully descriptive writing as always but I really relate to and admire the message you pulled from it: trusting in yourself. We’ve talked about this tons, but it’s so important. Not trying to control the future but just staying on The Path and doing The Work. Focusing on what you can control and letting the outcomes be. Simple stuff yet it’s so hard. I’m right there with you learning to trust myself. Not easy, but worth it. One day I’m sure we’ll both look back on our journeys and wish we could be back here. And at the end of it all, we die and everything goes to zero. So if we’re not having fun along the way, we’re doing something wrong.
Thanks for reading & the note Jack. Your comments are always special to read.
I think you’re exactly right at the end. We’ll look back and wonder why we didn’t trust ourselves more, why we doubted at all. Trust is easy to say but hard to do. Every time I feel worry or uncertainty float to the surface I’m just trying to remind myself that life is good and I’m on the path and things will all find their way. I’m part observer anyways.
Appreciate you (:
I really enjoyed this one! A lot is relatable here across religious lines, and the idea of trust is so important.
Noha! Thank you for reading & I’m so happy it resonated (:
I came at this much more from the perspective of trust and lifting the burden of knowing off my shoulders. I’m very much still figuring out the religious component.
Hope you had a lovely weekend
Yes I could very much see that it was from that perspective. To me, they are one and the same but I can appreciate that it's not the same for everyone.
Totally see how they can one in the same. Think I’ll arrive at that conclusion myself eventually haha
" I’m too zoomed in to connect the dots. I’m too close to the pain to see the pleasure. "
!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's when I'm forced to let go. Trust and allow things to happen as they come.
I think that’s exactly the idea Terra. I’ve been writing along a similar vein for a while but it takes time to truly embody.
Thank you for reading & always sharing what resonated. I appreciate it (:
Fascinating read, Tommy. I think we are on the same page in our inability to articulate exactly what we mean when attempting to describe God. The God of my limited understanding is a God far to powerful to be understood.
Trusting that that rope is in safe hands can be so easily forgotten, despite our best efforts to the contrary. We automatically try to run the show of life ourselves, from the moment we open our eyes in the morning. And I, for one, invariably run into all manner of trouble as a result. The conditioning of the mind begins when we are babies, reinforced constantly from all directions as we grow. I’m resigned to the thought that it may take me as long to drop these ingrained habitual tendencies, attempting to play God in my life, as well as others, taking their problems on and ‘fixing’ them. The ego on steroids. Your experience at that church sounds great. I’m happy for you, mo chāra. Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly. Inspirational stuff. Take care.👏✍️🙏
Kevin! This comment was a treat.
Definitely sounds like we’re thinking along similar lines. I’m very early into this exploration-not sure even why I’m exactly called to it-and trying to approach with an open mind and suspend a lot of my modern cynicism and judgement of religion or religious belief.
I think playing God in our own life is exactly right. Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings to hint at the hell that man falls into when he tries to play God. Yet there is that desire in us to be God-like. All powerful and immortal. I’m trying to slowly release my desire to be God-like and really settle into my role as a man. A big part of that it seems is accepting how much I don’t know, how much I can’t know, but smiling at it still.
Thank you for reading & your insightful and kind comments. It’s great to hear from you Kevin (:
‘A big part of that is accepting how much I don’t know, how much I can’t know, but smiling at it still.’
Exactly, my friend. Humility, in realising we know so little about so much, acceptance that our scope for acquiring it is outweighed by the sheer enormity of the task, and that time will eventually bring the curtain down on our unfinished project, and remembering to put our best foot forward no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in. Trusting God to keep a tight grip on that rope, while we keep our side of the bargain. Fulfilling our potential to the best of our abilities. Displaying kindness and compassion to all the people we encounter on our journey, as naturally as we breathe, as our true nature blossoms. Smiling is still tax free, so let’s take advantage of that while we can, eh?
Substack is a fantastic place for me toncome and keep that ego in check. The quality of the work on display is incredible. A little daunting at first, at least it was for me. Thanks again for sharing, Tommy. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my thoughts on God, and how I am to build a better relationship between God and myself. Keep smiling, Tommy. And writing. Take care mo chāra.👏✍️🙏
I’ve been struggling a lot lately and this was nice to read. I love that Rilke quote. It’s one of my favorites. I have it written at the beginning of my journal. To help with my struggle instead of asking “why me”, I ask myself why not me, why not now, why not this? I also tell myself “This is something that happens to people”. For some reason it reminds me to not think of myself as special and more connected to the world. Always look forward to your writing, Tommy. Sometimes I think maybe I should start writing here on Substack. Have a good week.
J, thank you for reading and being such a kind support, as always. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through a tough time but I’m glad this resonated.
Rilke is such an incredible poet and one I want to explore much more. His ideas on letting pain work on you, not questioning it because you don’t know where it may lead you, really stuck with me. He celebrates the beauty and intensity of experience and rejects the labels of “good” or “bad.
I love the questions and the idea of feeling more connected - it’s comforting to know we’re not alone, even in our experiences that feel personal and unique.
Thank you for reading & hope you have a lovely weekend (:
Definitely write on Substack if you want to - would 100% encourage it!
Thanks for sharing your journey!
Thanks Matt! I appreciate you reading and taking the time to leave a kind note
Hope you have a great weekend
Soooo encouraging. Thank you.
Thank you for reading & the kind note John (:
Means a lot
Hope you have a lovely weekend
...reminds me of a hanging in my grandparents bathroom (the classic footsteps story)...faith is a wondrous thing brother...hard to find sometimes but always there waiting for you...
Haha that sounds like quite the story CansaFis - I have nothing but questions…
Faith is wondrous indeed. Thank you for reading & the cryptic yet delightful insights
...here is some version of it...apparently the LORD was a bodybuilder... and it was common to hang this in bathrooms (will have to investigate why) ... https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/evangelical-history/where-did-the-footprints-poem-come-from/ ...