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Danny Oak's avatar

Bro, put a f*cking disclaimer on this one, people shouldn't be caught off guard by this.

I played an entire movie in my head while reading your story, love this. The next book you work on, please make sure it's yours!

And always be brave! 💪🖊️❤️

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Haha this brought a big smile to my face. Thank you, Danny (: Sorry I didn’t put a disclaimer.

This was definitely a tough one to publish but pieces that require bravery always seem to resonate with people the most.

A book has been on my bucket list! But maybe sooner rather than later. Thanks again & hope you’re having an awesome weekend

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Yes, I agree with Danny! - "The next book you work on, please make sure it's yours!"

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Hahaha thank you Rick. One day, I hope.

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Carina's avatar

Damn. I opened this on my way out the door just to see what it was about and was left standing in the hallway reading it through because I just couldn’t stop. This was so so beautiful. My favourite one you’ve written.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you Carina (: this brought a big smile to my face because I know the exact feeling (with a bunch of your essays!)

Appreciate you reading & the sweet words - means a lot

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James Bailey's avatar

Tommy, you took us on a journey that is sort of indescribable, because the descriptive words I am trying to come up with would lessen your piece. Every sentence mattered, and contributed to the majesty (maybe that word comes close) of this reflection. The depth of your love, and writing, is remarkable.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you James (: seriously - I was scared to publish this one but knowing I have people like you and Rick and others from write of passage who are supportive always helps me find courage - I pretend I’m just sending it to you guys

I’ve journaled and written and thought about this incessantly for the past 7 months so there was a lot to pull from

Appreciate your support & being a friend

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Jack Dixon's avatar

Trying to find words to comment something additive here but as James so accurately said, every sentence mattered in this piece. Being close to you as I am, this piece made me swell up with tears in a bitter but beautiful way. So proud of you for having the courage to write this and put it out there. I don’t think I could have written something this deep and sentimental and meaningful… I would’ve broken down in tears before I got through the first sentence. Thanks for sharing something so genuine and authentic to yourself, and changing how I think about myself.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thanks Jack (: I’ve journaled on a lot and the actual body of this essay was written in a stream of semi-conscious quite unfiltered state on an airplane

Definitely wince reading parts but just trying to touch lightly on it

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James Bailey's avatar

That stream of semi-consciousness quite unfiltered might also be called….

Wait for it…

Your heart. ❤️

Which is how I felt reading it, like I was one with, and inside your heart. It brought me to tears, still does, and was SO awesome.

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Ki M's avatar

James - perfectly said! and your last line brought me to tears (again).

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kora 🌊's avatar

gosh darn tommy i just woke up, man

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

thank you Kora - you’ve written really beautifully about relationships and I thought about our convo when I was writing this

Appreciate you reading pal & the note (:

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Silvio Castelletti's avatar

“You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” It’s all in there. Nothing to add. Beautiful piece, Tommy.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you Silvio - you’re one of my favourite writers on here & it’s always special to see your name and know you took the time to read my work.

Hope Milano is lovely (:

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Silvio Castelletti's avatar

Thanks for your kind words, Tommy. It's all requited. :) I'm not in Milano these days, but it's been rainy as far as I know. Other than that, it's lovely as always! :)

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Noha Beshir's avatar

Just gorgeous writing. I read this the way I listen to a slow, sad song

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thanks so much Noha (: means a lot coming from you

I listen to a lot of slow, sad music - so maybe there’s some carry over

Appreciate you reading & the note. Hope Ottawa isn’t too cold 🥶

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Noha Beshir's avatar

It’s only cold by this winter's standards. Otherwise it’s pretty mild 😅😅

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J.T. Murphy's avatar

Your ability to sculpt raw emotions into smooth, unique, familiar-yet-fresh images is unmatched, Tommy. I feel as though you gave words to grief that has waited in my heart for a way to declare itself. Thank you.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

This was special to read J.T.

With my writing, especially for the last year, my highest goal has been to give people vocabulary or sentences to articulate ways they’ve felt

I often fall short but it’s very special to hear that it landed with you.

Thank you. For reading & being a friend (:

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J.T. Murphy's avatar

Tommy, your aspirations are why the ideas you express are resonating with so many.

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Miche Priest's avatar

Breathtaking

You’ve captured how two opposing ways of being can coexist with such heart wrenching honesty

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you so much Miche (: that’s an incredibly kind compliment

I had a prior (high school) relationship that ended without closure or a lot of empathy for the other and it was a regret I carried for a while - it is a strange balance of still loving someone while no longer being in love with them

Appreciate you reading & the kind note

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James Bailey's avatar

Breathtaking is right (that word is in the vicinity re: see my comment).

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Miche Priest's avatar

I also struggled with a word. Then I thought to myself, it was so captivating and heart wrenching at times I forgot to breathe.

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James Bailey's avatar

Miche, your word was perfect!

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Mohammad Khan's avatar

Reminds me of a Ted Lasso quote that gives me comfort in similar situations:

"It's funny to think about the things in your life... that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they're now gone. I think those things come into our lives... to help us get from one place to a better one"

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Ahhh that’s such a good one. Thank you for sharing Mohammad & reading my work (: means a lot

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Peter Ryan's avatar

This quote got me:

"Each time I open a blank word doc or turn a new page in my journal, it’s the sinkhole my words circle." Such good writing and storytelling. Thanks for sharing.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thanks for reading Peter & the kind note. Means a lot (:

And happy that line resonated with you - came out of nowhere when writing but definitely one I was happy to leave in the final version

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Kiera K's avatar

Wow, Tommy. Just wow.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

thanks kiera (: this was a tough one to publish but makes me happy it resonated with you - hope you’re awesome & the new job is swell

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Alex Michael's avatar

This was beautiful Tommy. Incredible.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thanks Alex (: appreciate it my friend

Definitely scary to publish & grimaced at the thought of it being out there - but as i think you wrote, something about sharing publicly really helps with letting go

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Alex Michael's avatar

Amen! Takes courage, kudos.

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Sakul Nathwani's avatar

This is one of the best pieces I’ve ever read. Could feel everything you were trying to convey.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you so much Sakul - that’s an incredibly kind compliment

Appreciate you taking the time to read & all the support. So glad it resonated (:

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Minh's avatar

Crazy how much love can affect us - this is special and I enjoy reading it

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Crazy indeed Minh. Thank you for reading - I’m so glad you enjoyed it (:

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Charlie Bleecker's avatar

Damn Tommy, I feel like I just watched one of those indie rom-coms with a sad (happy?) ending. This was awesome.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Haha thanks so much Charlie. I love how you added “indie” in there. I like to think even sad stories have a happy ending - you just can’t see it fully yet

Appreciate you reading - your one of my favourite writers on here & it’s special to know you’ve read my work

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Charlie Bleecker's avatar

I agree about the sad stories having happy endings! You are on your way to one, no doubt about it.

And thank you so much! Such an honor to be one of your favorite writers. Your newsletter keeps getting better and better. Love to see it!

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thanks Charlie (: means a lot coming from you

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CansaFis Foote's avatar

...what an ode...

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Thank you CansaFis - means a lot my friend

This was a toughie

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CansaFis Foote's avatar

...i can only imagine...you nailed it though man, such mood and emotion and honesty...gave me great reminisce....

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