I am very affected by place. Actually I think everyone is. Probably more than they realize.
Our surroundings act on us. Some foster chaos, others encourage enchantment. Broad landscapes, beautiful artwork, and ancient architecture fill people with awe. Office buildings with drop ceilings and an unimaginative palette of gray, screeching subways, and sirens tend toward dread.
No matter how resilient you are, it's nearly impossible not to be influenced by your surroundings. Places speak to us, almost by accident. They tell us what to prioritize, how to live, who to be1. You don’t have to seek it out. Only listen.
This month, I went from sleeping in a tent in a remote eco-village in Northern Thailand, to a bland suburb outside of Toronto, to a humble two-bedroom cottage on the lake, surrounded by rolling hills and dilapidated barns, with a wood-burning stove, shoddy cell reception, and constant projects.
I don’t realize the full impact that place has until it changes2.
Living in the quiet countryside, every detail—the lapping of water on rocks, the soft warmth of the fire, the goldfinches peeking out from cedar hedges—twists my temperament in a million little, hard to articulate ways. But, they accumulate. I feel calmer, clearer out here. The world loosens its grip. I love running past pastures of grazing cows, visiting local bakeries, feeling the heat in my veins as I climb out of the icy lake.
I can’t will myself into slowness. But I can engineer the conditions for its emergence.
Returning to the city crowds, I’m struck by the noise, the speed of each pedestrian’s gait, the suffering on every street corner, the general stand-offishness. People feel the need to always be on their guard. For good reason, too. Angst and urgency live in the atmosphere. Pervasive as the exhaust in the air, I doubt the people inside cities fully know it3.
Although their effect becomes invisible, places shape us4.
In each environment, I am a somewhat different person. The daily motions that are demanded vary. Daily motions, with repetition, become ritual. And my rituals, whether I notice it or not, change me.
Of course, there are tradeoffs with any place and what matters, really, is making the tradeoffs you want to make with open eyes. No perfect solution exists. I can’t help but feel wistful about the notion of being young and lost and alive in a big city, footsteps away from all my friends.
This is all to say: it’s worth listening when a place calls to you. It’s worth thinking about whether the place you live enables your goals or stands in their way. And it’s worth noticing what surroundings speak of enchantment, cultivate the conditions you feel at home in, and aim toward them. Life is more malleable than we think. It’s a surprise to most people, including myself, that they can actually have what they want.
Wherever you live should help further the dream you have for your life.
An ideal to me is to live outside the city when I’m young. Buy land, build a home, start a family. Try hard to create something beautiful. Plant Honeycrisp apple trees in the Spring, sow a rose garden in the Summer, forage for huckleberries in the Fall, and tap maple trees in the Winter. With space to roam in the woods, cross over creeks, and find firewood. But still close enough to a quaint main street to hear church bells, walk into town every afternoon, and frequent farmer’s markets.
Of course, the most important thing is not where you live, but how you live when you get there.
Yours,
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👋 what i’ve been up to:
I’ve spent the week in the countryside. Writing, reading, running, walking, swimming, visiting cows, organizing, building, planting. I’m turning our bunkie, a small cabin separate from the main cottage, into my room. It should keep me busy for a while.
Working hard to finish an essay I started at the beginning of September 2023. 12 drafts, 3 rounds of feedback from Alex Dobrenko, and easily +100 hours. It’s the longest piece I’ve written. Certainly the most challenging and hopefully one of the best.
✍️ quote i’m pondering:
Ancient Greek poet Hesiod on virtue and the gods:
To be evil is an easy choice, and there are many ways to do it.
The way of evil is smooth and accessible.
But the immortal gods have put between them and us the sweat that goes with aretē.
The path towards it is long and steep.
It is rough at first, but, as it reaches the top,
It finally becomes easy, hard as it was before....
Hunger is the natural companion of the utterly idle man.
Both gods and men begrudge helping such a man who is idle.
Aretē is an Ancient Greek term that roughly translates to: “excellence in moral virtue”. Between man and virtue, the gods have put sweat.
📸 photos i took:
Following a photographer friend’s advice, I went to a used book store and picked up The Joy of Photography, published in 1981. I’ve been taking a photo a day since October, but it’s the first theory I’m learning. To learn new skills, it’s best to start with creation.
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Everything we think (and the quality of these thoughts) is downstream of our inputs. Our largest input, obviously, is the environment we inhabit.
People and places exist in an ecology. Each shapes the other.
It’s no coincidence the novels that best capture 20th-century America were written in Paris. You can’t fully see a place until you leave.
After a few days in a city, I assume the moment I stop noticing it is the moment I begin to embody it myself.
An example: Social trust is lowest in cities because there’s plenty of evidence not to trust your fellow humans. But that belief calcifies. It influences how you see human nature.
Loved this. Having gone from lake-nestled suburb to Vietnam to Thailand to Toronto to bland suburb to rural cottage this year, this is so relatable for me. There's a palpable change in who I am and how I feel based on where I am. Environment isn't everything but it does really matter.
And love the conclusion you close with: "the most important thing is not where you live, but how you live when you get there." As you say, nothing and nowhere will save you. Some places better, others worse. But ultimately it's your mindset and actions that determine your reality, no matter the external circumstance.
Beautiful, smooth writing as always. Thanks for sharing buddy.
“It’s a surprise to most people, including myself, that they can actually have what they want.” I would love to hear you elaborate on this more some time, or at least share how your pursuit of this is going. Although I guess that’s a bit of what you’ve been doing all along.