Thank you, James. It never fails to bring a smile to my face to see your name in the comments and to have your support.
I was hit with the realization, especially on the meditation retreat, that I've spent so much time living out of alignment with my priorities (I am a homebody pretending to be a digital nomad) and I'm just starting to connect a lot of the dots from my past and find clarity on a future that actually feels aligned with who I am. I know it's still very vague but an exciting turning point, perhaps.
Frustrating truism that we must first live out of alignment to realize what alignment is.
The more "selfish" you get with your needs the better your writing becomes. The Glennon Doyle quote is good, but you're a good example of this other side of the equation, how the willingness to disappoint others in the short term is the only way to actually serve others in the long term. Without being grounded in one's self/purpose we can't ultimately meet the deep needs of others. I like "exercise is the great equalizer" - bringing us down to the same common denominator of needing to do the work to make progress. And self-awareness is the great liberator—delivering each of us to our true path, hidden strengths and unique purpose. I don't see how investing in it could ever be selfish.
I love that take Rick. One of the biggest paradigm shifts I got from WoP 10 last year was that people actually enjoy more personal writing. My specific details aren't boring or alienating but somehow more interesting, relatable and human. Still doesn't make complete sense to me but I also know it's the type of writing I like reading the most. I can always relate to it in one way or another.
Also this is so good: "Without being grounded in one's self/purpose we can't ultimately meet the deep needs of others."
Exercise doesn't care if you're the President or a student. Weights demand the same respect from everyone. And everyone sweats, pants, collapses from fatigue haha.
Self awareness is such a liberator. The more I know myself, the more I can accept myself, the more free I feel. People say "Surrender to your nature" but it's almost more apt to say "know your nature" since once you know it, fully, you can't help but surrender to it, I think.
Thank you for your wealth of insight and attention. Seriously means a lot.
"Exercise doesn't care if you're the President or a student." ! There's your title for a juicy coming essay man. There's nothing I love more than the play of conversational exchange grounded in real experience. It seems to reveal the gold faster than anything else. And you've got lots of it waiting to be mined.
At first, I didn't love the Glennon Doyle quote admittedly, but I think I misunderstood it. I read it as if people should be fine ignoring or dismissing others, to only focus on their own self. Your comment gives great clarity and perspective. Selfish in the short term, and ultimately serving to others in the long term.
Peter, funnily enough I also didn’t enjoy the quote at first - it felt selfish rather than selfless. But over time its meaning shifted and it grew on me.
Rick is amazing at bringing fresh and deep insight to ideas and consistently teaches me something in the comments every week.
Thank you Jenn (: it's a great little saying I try to keep top of mind. It's so easy to let the chaos of the world wash over my promises and devour them, like waves on a sandcastle, but maintaining feels so important.
"But I’m trying so hard to not disappoint the dreamer in me. The part with the imagination and idealism of a child, who just wants his life to be a work of art."
Great piece! This reminds me of a chapter in a book summarizing themes of the Bible (title: Biblical Critical Theory). That author points out that, according to the Bible, making and keeping promises is fundamental to our identities as humans. I'm still pondering that myself, too.
Thanks Matt! Appreciate you reading & the kind note (: had no idea that this was a Biblical idea but I'm fascinated. One idea I took away from Genesis was the critical importance of maintaining your covenant with God (or building your Ark) as it's the only thing that will save you when the Flood of life's chaos comes for you.
Why do I think it odd that they have Cross Fit in Thailand, now I know. Hope you enjoyed and found value in your meditation retreat. Enjoyed this piece. I find value in slowness too. You expressed that value very well.
Thank you J (: there are parts of Thailand that are very Westernized. Especially in the South where many foreigners come to train in MMA or escape to warmer weather. It's easier to be a tourist but much of the local culture has eroded. The North, I've heard, is more authentic.
Appreciate you reading & your support. Always means so much to me, especially on days I doubt myself
Learning the balance of commitment to others, self-disappointment, and cultivating a life that is a work of art. So much to think about. I think I am going to use this for reflecting/ journal prompts. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself.
It certainly is a balance, you're so right. Glad to hear you've found some inspiration for journaling. I journal first thing in the morning every day and found it to be a great way to balance keeping promises to myself while serving others.
Love this one, Tommy—so sparse and evocative. Sounds like a blissful morning. I really love the bit about keeping promises to yourself, and am glad you're doing just that. Looking forward to hearing how the meditation retreat was. 🙏
Rob, it's so good to hear from you. Appreciate you reading & taking the time to leave a kind note (:
Keeping promises certainly has involved breaking promises to myself and then realizing the disappointment. But it's a learning journey.
The meditation retreat was a great experience. I struggled with the meditation since I had some life-altering insights that bubbled up at the beginning of the retreat and commandeered my brain but living at a Buddhist monastery in the jungle and falling in tune with the daily rhythms and being detached from the outside world was quite neat (although challenging).
Appreciate your support. Always means so much to me, especially on days I doubt myself
Yes, it's very much a process of learning (as I still am, daily) how we can be gentler with ourselves. So glad you had that time in the jungle—it sounds beautiful. I've never been on retreat, though hope to at some point. I have a daily practice, with its own inevitable challenges, but I'm sure that extended depth and devotion to practice does indeed bubble up all sorts of things to work with. I'm always very happy to see your posts come in.
If you meditate often and enjoy the practice and want to challenge yourself I’d definitely recommend it. Try to look for an authentic monastery as there are some overpriced spa-type-luxury meditation retreats out there.
The hard part then, as I’m sure you know from your practice, is figuring out how to integrate the insights and carry them into daily life.
« But I’m trying so hard to not disappoint the dreamer in me. The part with the imagination and idealism of a child, who just wants his life to be a work of art. » I couldn’t have said it more beautifully…I felt it…
I used to have days when I barely paused to feed myself. My needs were glanced at after serving my daughter, husband, volunteer activities, and work responsibilities. It was a frantic time. Now that I have tasted unstructured hours, savored solitude, and honored my dreams, I feel nourished. Good on you, Tommy, for learning these truths on your own.
Mothers are certainly sacrificial J.T. I look back at my childhood and really am wowed at how much my mom sacrificed to be so involved, always putting the needs of others before her own, like many moms do.
I’m glad you’ve moved into a new chapter where you can tend more to your own needs & nourishment. Makes me happy (:
Slowly learning. I keep coming back to this idea of service to others, but somehow tempered with still taking what I need to keep me fulfilled. Hard balance to strike.
The meditation retreat was good! Challenging at times but a great life experience & definitely found some new clarity about my life path/plan that I’m still chewing on and figuring out what to do about haha
Your pieces always make me think. And love the quote at the end by the philosopher whose name I’ve already forgotten - we do so much comparing and it’s such a great reminder of the futility of that
Hahaha that's a line from Tolkien but one that stuck with me. Especially as I'm 50% English, I think I could live off of bread and butter alone... might just do it if I make it to 80.
Thank you for reading CansaFis. Ever since I met you last WoP, you never fail to make me smile, laugh and remember not to take life too seriously.
So essential. I yearn to write with this level of compression Tommy.
“when I make and keep promises to myself, when I live out my priorities, I feel more whole, more alive, more human.”
I could pick ten more perspectives but this one is a North Star.
I hope your retreat was amazing.
Thank you, James. It never fails to bring a smile to my face to see your name in the comments and to have your support.
I was hit with the realization, especially on the meditation retreat, that I've spent so much time living out of alignment with my priorities (I am a homebody pretending to be a digital nomad) and I'm just starting to connect a lot of the dots from my past and find clarity on a future that actually feels aligned with who I am. I know it's still very vague but an exciting turning point, perhaps.
Frustrating truism that we must first live out of alignment to realize what alignment is.
Thanks again & wishing you well (:
The more "selfish" you get with your needs the better your writing becomes. The Glennon Doyle quote is good, but you're a good example of this other side of the equation, how the willingness to disappoint others in the short term is the only way to actually serve others in the long term. Without being grounded in one's self/purpose we can't ultimately meet the deep needs of others. I like "exercise is the great equalizer" - bringing us down to the same common denominator of needing to do the work to make progress. And self-awareness is the great liberator—delivering each of us to our true path, hidden strengths and unique purpose. I don't see how investing in it could ever be selfish.
I love that take Rick. One of the biggest paradigm shifts I got from WoP 10 last year was that people actually enjoy more personal writing. My specific details aren't boring or alienating but somehow more interesting, relatable and human. Still doesn't make complete sense to me but I also know it's the type of writing I like reading the most. I can always relate to it in one way or another.
Also this is so good: "Without being grounded in one's self/purpose we can't ultimately meet the deep needs of others."
Exercise doesn't care if you're the President or a student. Weights demand the same respect from everyone. And everyone sweats, pants, collapses from fatigue haha.
Self awareness is such a liberator. The more I know myself, the more I can accept myself, the more free I feel. People say "Surrender to your nature" but it's almost more apt to say "know your nature" since once you know it, fully, you can't help but surrender to it, I think.
Thank you for your wealth of insight and attention. Seriously means a lot.
"Exercise doesn't care if you're the President or a student." ! There's your title for a juicy coming essay man. There's nothing I love more than the play of conversational exchange grounded in real experience. It seems to reveal the gold faster than anything else. And you've got lots of it waiting to be mined.
Brilliant.
At first, I didn't love the Glennon Doyle quote admittedly, but I think I misunderstood it. I read it as if people should be fine ignoring or dismissing others, to only focus on their own self. Your comment gives great clarity and perspective. Selfish in the short term, and ultimately serving to others in the long term.
Peter, funnily enough I also didn’t enjoy the quote at first - it felt selfish rather than selfless. But over time its meaning shifted and it grew on me.
Rick is amazing at bringing fresh and deep insight to ideas and consistently teaches me something in the comments every week.
"Keep your promises to yourself" is a thing I saw not long ago on social media and it hit me hard. So important.
Thank you Jenn (: it's a great little saying I try to keep top of mind. It's so easy to let the chaos of the world wash over my promises and devour them, like waves on a sandcastle, but maintaining feels so important.
Appreciate you reading & hope you're keeping well
"But I’m trying so hard to not disappoint the dreamer in me. The part with the imagination and idealism of a child, who just wants his life to be a work of art."
!!!!!
Thanks Terra (: always appreciate the parts of my writing you pull out!
Great piece! This reminds me of a chapter in a book summarizing themes of the Bible (title: Biblical Critical Theory). That author points out that, according to the Bible, making and keeping promises is fundamental to our identities as humans. I'm still pondering that myself, too.
Thanks Matt! Appreciate you reading & the kind note (: had no idea that this was a Biblical idea but I'm fascinated. One idea I took away from Genesis was the critical importance of maintaining your covenant with God (or building your Ark) as it's the only thing that will save you when the Flood of life's chaos comes for you.
Love your insight here and thank you for sharing!
Why do I think it odd that they have Cross Fit in Thailand, now I know. Hope you enjoyed and found value in your meditation retreat. Enjoyed this piece. I find value in slowness too. You expressed that value very well.
Thank you J (: there are parts of Thailand that are very Westernized. Especially in the South where many foreigners come to train in MMA or escape to warmer weather. It's easier to be a tourist but much of the local culture has eroded. The North, I've heard, is more authentic.
Appreciate you reading & your support. Always means so much to me, especially on days I doubt myself
Learning the balance of commitment to others, self-disappointment, and cultivating a life that is a work of art. So much to think about. I think I am going to use this for reflecting/ journal prompts. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself.
Merc! Appreciate you reading & the kind note (:
It certainly is a balance, you're so right. Glad to hear you've found some inspiration for journaling. I journal first thing in the morning every day and found it to be a great way to balance keeping promises to myself while serving others.
Thanks again & hope to keep in touch!
Love this one, Tommy—so sparse and evocative. Sounds like a blissful morning. I really love the bit about keeping promises to yourself, and am glad you're doing just that. Looking forward to hearing how the meditation retreat was. 🙏
Rob, it's so good to hear from you. Appreciate you reading & taking the time to leave a kind note (:
Keeping promises certainly has involved breaking promises to myself and then realizing the disappointment. But it's a learning journey.
The meditation retreat was a great experience. I struggled with the meditation since I had some life-altering insights that bubbled up at the beginning of the retreat and commandeered my brain but living at a Buddhist monastery in the jungle and falling in tune with the daily rhythms and being detached from the outside world was quite neat (although challenging).
Appreciate your support. Always means so much to me, especially on days I doubt myself
Yes, it's very much a process of learning (as I still am, daily) how we can be gentler with ourselves. So glad you had that time in the jungle—it sounds beautiful. I've never been on retreat, though hope to at some point. I have a daily practice, with its own inevitable challenges, but I'm sure that extended depth and devotion to practice does indeed bubble up all sorts of things to work with. I'm always very happy to see your posts come in.
If you meditate often and enjoy the practice and want to challenge yourself I’d definitely recommend it. Try to look for an authentic monastery as there are some overpriced spa-type-luxury meditation retreats out there.
The hard part then, as I’m sure you know from your practice, is figuring out how to integrate the insights and carry them into daily life.
Thank you Rob. Really. I’m humbled.
Tommy, I enjoyed the tight, clean, direct style of your sentences in this piece. They reflect the message: less, is more.
Thank you BB. I appreciate you reading & the kind words (:
Less is more, for sure. One of those cliches I always heard and kinda ignored and I'm learning the long way through experience.
Appreciate your support. Means so much
There can be too much labor in long sentences and perfect word choices. Too much labor often obscures truth.
Ahhh I love that. There’s so much beauty in simplicity in fresh, simple thoughts
and readers appreciate the clarity!
“The charity of clarity”
« But I’m trying so hard to not disappoint the dreamer in me. The part with the imagination and idealism of a child, who just wants his life to be a work of art. » I couldn’t have said it more beautifully…I felt it…
Thank you (: so happy it resonated
I used to have days when I barely paused to feed myself. My needs were glanced at after serving my daughter, husband, volunteer activities, and work responsibilities. It was a frantic time. Now that I have tasted unstructured hours, savored solitude, and honored my dreams, I feel nourished. Good on you, Tommy, for learning these truths on your own.
Mothers are certainly sacrificial J.T. I look back at my childhood and really am wowed at how much my mom sacrificed to be so involved, always putting the needs of others before her own, like many moms do.
I’m glad you’ve moved into a new chapter where you can tend more to your own needs & nourishment. Makes me happy (:
Slowly learning. I keep coming back to this idea of service to others, but somehow tempered with still taking what I need to keep me fulfilled. Hard balance to strike.
Tommy, you will find that balance now and then. Equilibrium is the goal, but only an adept can maintain it constantly. Enjoy the progress you make.
So good. Thank you for sharing. Love the Glennon Doyle quote.
Thank you for reading & the kind words. Brought a smile to my face (on a bit of a strange day) (:
hahaha. good to know. I sometimes question if writers find it reassuring or annoying. I choose to believe the first one. :)
Ps: I'm pleased to see your growth
Definitely reassuring (: thank you Terra
Also! Tell us about the silent meditation?
The meditation retreat was good! Challenging at times but a great life experience & definitely found some new clarity about my life path/plan that I’m still chewing on and figuring out what to do about haha
Your pieces always make me think. And love the quote at the end by the philosopher whose name I’ve already forgotten - we do so much comparing and it’s such a great reminder of the futility of that
Noha! It’s so good to hear from you (: thank you for reading & the kind words as always. Means so much.
Hope you’re having a lovely week
...like butter scraped over too much bread...good caption for that cat photo too...
Hahaha that's a line from Tolkien but one that stuck with me. Especially as I'm 50% English, I think I could live off of bread and butter alone... might just do it if I make it to 80.
Thank you for reading CansaFis. Ever since I met you last WoP, you never fail to make me smile, laugh and remember not to take life too seriously.