A dear friend first shared his “philosophy of life” with me many years ago, while we both cared for his dying son: “recognize your own insignificance, let others know they are significant to you, and treat everything you own as if it’s borrowed.”
It’s given me a wealth of gratitude when I can keep it actively in my thoughts.
Your writing reminds me of all I’ve learned from trying to live such a way.
love this. i noticed over the last year, i am exponentially happier when volunteering at the local juvenile detention center (phone taken away, no opportunity to focus on anything other than the kids in front of me) than i ever was watching reels about how “focusing on yourself” is the key to happiness, success, contentment, etc. Most often they are trying to sell some kind of isolating, complicated routine. I just didn’t have the words to recognize it. I like when people discuss the sometimes intellectualizing everything endlessly is actually a problem.
Great piece, Tommy. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Something I found myself thinking about shortly before I even read this which offered a great parallel was how the first thing that God wanted for the very first of us in fact was not improved self-knowledge. It was instead someone who he could be in relationship with.
“I’m not talking about self-neglect or martyrdom, but a fundamental shift in the posture of my heart to be more concerned with something outside myself than with my own interiority and problems. I’m talking about a willingness to make the small, unsexy sacrifices, doing what would be all too easy to avoid and justify to myself that I’m too busy and bogged down and tired and important.”
!!!!!!!!!!!!! this piece was breath taking, you managed to put words to something I’ve been struggling to express
This is the first piece I read of yours. So well put!
I’ve lately been thinking a lot about society’s fixation with self-improvement and outward success. I’ve come to the realization that true immortality lies in service to others. A renowned scientist who discovers a cancer treatment, a devoted parent who raises flourishing children—both achieve a kind of permanence. What outlives us isn’t our achievements for ourselves, but what we do for others. Self-improvement matters, certainly, but only insofar as it enables us to contribute something meaningful to the world. Otherwise, it remains locked within us, disappearing from this world when we do.
There’s a quote I love by George Bernard Shaw:
“Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I have got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
The amazing part of this is that biology basically built this experience into humanity: parenthood. I’m not saying it’s a guarantee to have this result and I’m not saying you need to procreate to have this realization but for many people I know who have children: this perspective comes along with it.
This was so incredibly well written, both in form and in substance. I am rooting for you! Once you find the wife and have your first child, all of this will flower exponentially. Everything reorients to the little person who needs you so much.
“Every time it is roughly equivalent to repeating the trauma of birth. Every time it works.”
What a brilliant line. I’ve compared the same feeling to throwing myself off a high dive, where it never stops getting scary, but I think I prefer this even more
Currently emerging from my early-20s meditating, journaling, psychedelics, intellectualizing, therapizing daze and coming to this exact conclusion
when you see the title and you just know you’re gonna love it
Thank you for writing this piece. Well done.
A dear friend first shared his “philosophy of life” with me many years ago, while we both cared for his dying son: “recognize your own insignificance, let others know they are significant to you, and treat everything you own as if it’s borrowed.”
It’s given me a wealth of gratitude when I can keep it actively in my thoughts.
Your writing reminds me of all I’ve learned from trying to live such a way.
love this. i noticed over the last year, i am exponentially happier when volunteering at the local juvenile detention center (phone taken away, no opportunity to focus on anything other than the kids in front of me) than i ever was watching reels about how “focusing on yourself” is the key to happiness, success, contentment, etc. Most often they are trying to sell some kind of isolating, complicated routine. I just didn’t have the words to recognize it. I like when people discuss the sometimes intellectualizing everything endlessly is actually a problem.
Great piece, Tommy. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Something I found myself thinking about shortly before I even read this which offered a great parallel was how the first thing that God wanted for the very first of us in fact was not improved self-knowledge. It was instead someone who he could be in relationship with.
This was so beautiful. I fell into a deep depression the last couple of weeks and am slowly pulling myself out of it and this kind of helped.
I think the transition from your 20s to 30s can really help clarify this (not always, but often). Beautifully written piece.
100%, Em!
“I’m not talking about self-neglect or martyrdom, but a fundamental shift in the posture of my heart to be more concerned with something outside myself than with my own interiority and problems. I’m talking about a willingness to make the small, unsexy sacrifices, doing what would be all too easy to avoid and justify to myself that I’m too busy and bogged down and tired and important.”
!!!!!!!!!!!!! this piece was breath taking, you managed to put words to something I’ve been struggling to express
Thank you for writing this, this is a great reminder on the posture to live
This is the first piece I read of yours. So well put!
I’ve lately been thinking a lot about society’s fixation with self-improvement and outward success. I’ve come to the realization that true immortality lies in service to others. A renowned scientist who discovers a cancer treatment, a devoted parent who raises flourishing children—both achieve a kind of permanence. What outlives us isn’t our achievements for ourselves, but what we do for others. Self-improvement matters, certainly, but only insofar as it enables us to contribute something meaningful to the world. Otherwise, it remains locked within us, disappearing from this world when we do.
There’s a quote I love by George Bernard Shaw:
“Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I have got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”
What a great essay Tommy! I’ve got to say man there’s not a time I feel more heard, seen, and understood all at once than when I am reading your work.
Thank you for writing this!! Very well written.
The amazing part of this is that biology basically built this experience into humanity: parenthood. I’m not saying it’s a guarantee to have this result and I’m not saying you need to procreate to have this realization but for many people I know who have children: this perspective comes along with it.
A perfect piece of writing that I will be thinking about for a long time
This was so incredibly well written, both in form and in substance. I am rooting for you! Once you find the wife and have your first child, all of this will flower exponentially. Everything reorients to the little person who needs you so much.
“Every time it is roughly equivalent to repeating the trauma of birth. Every time it works.”
What a brilliant line. I’ve compared the same feeling to throwing myself off a high dive, where it never stops getting scary, but I think I prefer this even more