Tommy, what the hell. This is my favorite thing you’ve ever written. I’m inspired, liberated, panicked, and of course, ashamed of my doom scrolling even tho it’s “not as bad as most people.” This is what I actually tell myself! Ok I gotta go read my book. Bye.
Such beautiful writing. Somehow the paragraph on your personal life gave it the substance that pierced through my thoughts. It was such a relatable moment. And perhaps the kind of push I needed to start my offline journey.
I was in tears literally whilst reading the paragraph on the spiritual inside us; the something infinite, something eternal. I believe God is right there, you know? Exactly when you ponder on this.
By the way, I wonder if you are also exporting notes to kindle. Your piece looks fabulous on eink. Specially the pictures you chose.
I have a question for you-what are your thoughts on if it needs to be all or nothing? I love your essay but was thinking it might have some real rules that have worked for you around screens or social media time. I have really enjoyed my social media detoxes, but haven’t yet pulled the plug entirely. I don’t know if it’s possible to straddle both worlds so to speak but I think it’s a challenge we all face- wanting more analog and peace, but also faced with the reality that we live in a technology-driven world. I would like discipline to have an 80 percent analog and 20 percent digital life but haven’t found the strategies and rules to make it happen. Your essay did give me lots of food for thought though…thanks so much
Adding friction to a lot of your online time can be helpful! Only log on at a certain time to check things, like you may do with emails so you're not checking them all day.
Check social media, etc. only from your computer... Maybe even have a digital camera to take pictures with and post them from your computer! I say this because the zoom on my phone sucks, so I dug out my old digital camera I bought for a Korea trip and have been using that for my own pleasure. :)
yeah, i don't think i personally can pull the plug entirely. i do see the possibility of the internet as a genuinely helpful learning tool (exhibit a: this substack post) and as a way to meaningfully connect. there are lots of great and important information out there amidst the slop. but i have also lost many hours to mindless consumption. the pull of the phone is no joke. i have an app blocker/time limit setter installed which helps a little (onesec) in preventing me from inadvertently going down rabbit holes i didn't mean to go down. and i also try as best i can to self-reflect on paper what i want for myself which i find helps me be more intentional with my tech usage. it's still difficult to consciously say "no" to tech sometimes but i think it's getting easier
Play music. I'd forgotten how hard it was to practice an hour a day like I did when I was a child, but the only way to develop a skill is by doing it over and over until it's muscle memory.
My friend, one day it will no longer be like they’re an infant in need of our care, but an actual infant in need of everything. I would add to your suggestions an invitation to devotion. Since my mother's illness, passing, and now my daughters life threatening illness my rosary has become one of those devotions that I know I'll have to the end of my days like my ancestors before me. My little daughter fell asleep to the Hail Marys right before I came to read this piece. It is in a devotion we have far more than a hobby, in contemplation far more than some recurring appointment with mindfulness. Out in our neck of the woods we sometimes refer to the fire as Ranger TV. We have picked up screens as a devotion to ease but as Saint Josemaria Escriva once said “To be happy, what you need is not an easy life but a heart which is in love". As always I appreciate your work here and anticipate the continued updates in your journey. My best to you Tommy
I swear your essays are masterpieces. They’re so special compared to what others write even if it’s good — yours are still smth as if dictated from above. Thank you for your work. It resonates with the body cells. And an insane amount of lines are golden quotes.
“Bought” you a cup of coffee. It’s not much, but also smth :)
Thank you for writing this piece. I have been working as a Social Media Marketer. It has been tiring, very tiring. I am not sure how to implement what you are doing while my job is literally to doom-scroll (well not exactly, but keeping up with trends and algorithm every day is a must). I’ve been thinking to switch my career, however economic-wise this is not something I can do. I would love to know your thoughts on a case like this, where quitting is not an option, but continuing this endless online cycle is torture.
I’M DOING IT! I’m going back to no social media! You’ve reinspired me! That was the best my life ever was, and I’ve been too horrifically addicted to enforce it again. My new project is to read (or at least try before nobly DNFing) every single fantasy book at my local library, starting in alphabetical order. Impossible to accomplish if I am scrolling and if I also want to do art and writing. Thank you for bringing me back to earth!
Your words resonate deeply with how I’ve been feeling for quite some time. Much of what you describe, I already practice—consistently. Lately, I’ve been focusing on maintaining that consistency. But the drawback is work: the constant need to stay connected—to my phone, my email, my contacts. It’s not just personal; it’s also those within our circles who demand that connection. That’s what makes it all the harder. Which brings me to my greatest difficulty.
Right now in the U.S. (though this is not unique to us), our way of life—our democracy—is changing at lightning speed. Connection is crucial. Large-scale connection is key. Yet that very connection depends on the technology being used to disconnect us from one another. Meanwhile, our Earth and all living beings on it face real, fact-based danger.
So I ask myself: how do we stay informed, engaged, and effectively communicative—how do we unite and help—if we’re only reading books? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a reader. I always have been. This isn’t a case against books. I am a writer. Books saved my life while I was on the streets and homeless. In fact, I use books as a way to avoid reality— sometimes too much. I’m genuinely concerned, and honestly in wonder, about how to balance it all—my duty to help save our democracy, to support people, and to protect the planet without reading newspapers, online reporting, blogs???
For context: I work at a nonprofit. I volunteer. I’m out in the world—a lot. So my question is, how can I do what you suggest—live with presence and intention—and still contribute meaningfully to my community, to those in need, and to our environment? Because to me, it’s all connected and so must we be connected if we are to make real life altering, planet altering change.
I’ve written this without editing—a free flow of thought. It’ll probably haunt me later, the typos. The tense, but I don’t have time to look for the errors, polish every transition or tighten every erratic point. I need to walk my dog, feed my starter, and prepare for a half-day trip to sit in the forest—a trip I’ve been putting off for weeks because work has kept me so busy.
At the nonprofit where I work, we feed people. And the need keeps growing. Each week, more working families, seniors, and unhoused individuals come to us for help. Last year, our mobile food trucks alone served 321,001 meals—not including the monthly emergency food box distributions. The lines are getting longer. The calls for help keep increasing.
So today, I’m going to go. Despite the rain. I’ll pack some lemon-honey-ginger tea, wear my rain gear, and bring a few snacks. I’ll take my writing, and the blanket I’m knitting—one of five projects for my mostly homemade Christmas gifts—and head out. Because I do make time. Most mornings, I write. I do yoga, prayer, meditation.
But lately, sadness and grief have been keeping me up at night—grief for the destruction of trees, the melting ice, the genocide, the killing, corruption, abductions, and the powerful takeover of our media and communications. I see hunger every day in my work. The deep craving for nourishment—of both body and mind.
I’m struggling. I don’t know how to do it all.
Can you help me understand how I can use technology as my tool, instead of becoming its tool? Because we do need it. (This is my work and yes, I use em dashes. I love them and refuse to give them up.)
Dear Tommy, what an absolutely wonderful piece of writing. Today I deleted the Instagram app from my phone, but I do want to delete my account entirely. I hesitate, because I am a photographer, but at the same time I know it’s the darkness that wants me to keep it. But I want to switch on the light. And you have inspired me to focus on something else in my life. My best regards, Agata
I love reading essays like this that talk about why should all get off social media, throw away our TV etc and on one hand I completely agree they it’s better to get rid of all these things then be addicted to them but on the other, isn’t there a way to use them in a way that’s balanced and healthy? I read actual physical books every day for at least 30 min, I meet up with friends 3-4 times a week, I call my mom every single day. But I also love a cozy night watching a tv show. I set clear limits (one episode per day and one movie per week) and I limit my TikTok/IG scrolling to 30 min a day. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Bravo! You actually got my attention enough to read this blog in my email — which says a lot, because over the past year I’ve been intentionally extricating myself from social media, deleting nearly all of my subscription services, and limiting my Apple TV or YouTube viewing to just one show at night. I’ve read or listened to more than 70 books this year, and I’m so much happier for it.
It hasn’t been easy — I still check my Ground News summaries for balanced perspectives — but it’s absolutely been worth the effort to disconnect.
Ground news is a nice little app to have to keep up on goings on without having to worry about being told what and how to think. I use it occasionally, usually to check what’s happening, in real terms, without agendas being attached to the bare facts of any given story.
Thank you for writing this Tommy, it's a high quality essay.
Commenting on your suggestions on reading a book, I recently came across a series of sermons written by St John Henry Newman in Victorian English. I read a few works from that era with that writing style as well in the past, but now I read the sermons it came upon me that the way they wrote was eloquent, leaving spaces between thoughts to sink in. A sentence could be very long in today's standard and at first I needed to read it slowly to understand what he meant, but after more pages in, I grasped the style.
While modern days' attention span: three bullet points maximum on one slide please and thank you.
Great essay. Found on Notes and consumed from my smart phone.
One consequence of watching other actually people do things on short form videos is that is creates a need in you to do the same, but you don't, you keep watching more people do things on the little screen, and then the shame and helplessness increases, but you keep scrolling... this is completely speculative of course and not based on any feelings I've ever had.
Tommy, what the hell. This is my favorite thing you’ve ever written. I’m inspired, liberated, panicked, and of course, ashamed of my doom scrolling even tho it’s “not as bad as most people.” This is what I actually tell myself! Ok I gotta go read my book. Bye.
what charlie said
My thoughts entirely!
Same page! Lol
Such beautiful writing. Somehow the paragraph on your personal life gave it the substance that pierced through my thoughts. It was such a relatable moment. And perhaps the kind of push I needed to start my offline journey.
I was in tears literally whilst reading the paragraph on the spiritual inside us; the something infinite, something eternal. I believe God is right there, you know? Exactly when you ponder on this.
By the way, I wonder if you are also exporting notes to kindle. Your piece looks fabulous on eink. Specially the pictures you chose.
I have a question for you-what are your thoughts on if it needs to be all or nothing? I love your essay but was thinking it might have some real rules that have worked for you around screens or social media time. I have really enjoyed my social media detoxes, but haven’t yet pulled the plug entirely. I don’t know if it’s possible to straddle both worlds so to speak but I think it’s a challenge we all face- wanting more analog and peace, but also faced with the reality that we live in a technology-driven world. I would like discipline to have an 80 percent analog and 20 percent digital life but haven’t found the strategies and rules to make it happen. Your essay did give me lots of food for thought though…thanks so much
Adding friction to a lot of your online time can be helpful! Only log on at a certain time to check things, like you may do with emails so you're not checking them all day.
Check social media, etc. only from your computer... Maybe even have a digital camera to take pictures with and post them from your computer! I say this because the zoom on my phone sucks, so I dug out my old digital camera I bought for a Korea trip and have been using that for my own pleasure. :)
yeah, i don't think i personally can pull the plug entirely. i do see the possibility of the internet as a genuinely helpful learning tool (exhibit a: this substack post) and as a way to meaningfully connect. there are lots of great and important information out there amidst the slop. but i have also lost many hours to mindless consumption. the pull of the phone is no joke. i have an app blocker/time limit setter installed which helps a little (onesec) in preventing me from inadvertently going down rabbit holes i didn't mean to go down. and i also try as best i can to self-reflect on paper what i want for myself which i find helps me be more intentional with my tech usage. it's still difficult to consciously say "no" to tech sometimes but i think it's getting easier
Play music. I'd forgotten how hard it was to practice an hour a day like I did when I was a child, but the only way to develop a skill is by doing it over and over until it's muscle memory.
That’s exactly my approach! Playing music (or learning an instrument) is the best method of keeping our brains healthy and protected.
https://substack.com/@dylanpemberton/note/p-176431785?r=6kxzo7&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
After years of not playing and singing, I just treated myself to a piano and my heart and mind thank me. 💖
Agreed🙏🏼
My friend, one day it will no longer be like they’re an infant in need of our care, but an actual infant in need of everything. I would add to your suggestions an invitation to devotion. Since my mother's illness, passing, and now my daughters life threatening illness my rosary has become one of those devotions that I know I'll have to the end of my days like my ancestors before me. My little daughter fell asleep to the Hail Marys right before I came to read this piece. It is in a devotion we have far more than a hobby, in contemplation far more than some recurring appointment with mindfulness. Out in our neck of the woods we sometimes refer to the fire as Ranger TV. We have picked up screens as a devotion to ease but as Saint Josemaria Escriva once said “To be happy, what you need is not an easy life but a heart which is in love". As always I appreciate your work here and anticipate the continued updates in your journey. My best to you Tommy
I swear your essays are masterpieces. They’re so special compared to what others write even if it’s good — yours are still smth as if dictated from above. Thank you for your work. It resonates with the body cells. And an insane amount of lines are golden quotes.
“Bought” you a cup of coffee. It’s not much, but also smth :)
Thank you for writing this piece. I have been working as a Social Media Marketer. It has been tiring, very tiring. I am not sure how to implement what you are doing while my job is literally to doom-scroll (well not exactly, but keeping up with trends and algorithm every day is a must). I’ve been thinking to switch my career, however economic-wise this is not something I can do. I would love to know your thoughts on a case like this, where quitting is not an option, but continuing this endless online cycle is torture.
I’M DOING IT! I’m going back to no social media! You’ve reinspired me! That was the best my life ever was, and I’ve been too horrifically addicted to enforce it again. My new project is to read (or at least try before nobly DNFing) every single fantasy book at my local library, starting in alphabetical order. Impossible to accomplish if I am scrolling and if I also want to do art and writing. Thank you for bringing me back to earth!
This made me cry because as an Arab and Muslim woman my humanity depends on being online.
Why is that?
Why?
Your words resonate deeply with how I’ve been feeling for quite some time. Much of what you describe, I already practice—consistently. Lately, I’ve been focusing on maintaining that consistency. But the drawback is work: the constant need to stay connected—to my phone, my email, my contacts. It’s not just personal; it’s also those within our circles who demand that connection. That’s what makes it all the harder. Which brings me to my greatest difficulty.
Right now in the U.S. (though this is not unique to us), our way of life—our democracy—is changing at lightning speed. Connection is crucial. Large-scale connection is key. Yet that very connection depends on the technology being used to disconnect us from one another. Meanwhile, our Earth and all living beings on it face real, fact-based danger.
So I ask myself: how do we stay informed, engaged, and effectively communicative—how do we unite and help—if we’re only reading books? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a reader. I always have been. This isn’t a case against books. I am a writer. Books saved my life while I was on the streets and homeless. In fact, I use books as a way to avoid reality— sometimes too much. I’m genuinely concerned, and honestly in wonder, about how to balance it all—my duty to help save our democracy, to support people, and to protect the planet without reading newspapers, online reporting, blogs???
For context: I work at a nonprofit. I volunteer. I’m out in the world—a lot. So my question is, how can I do what you suggest—live with presence and intention—and still contribute meaningfully to my community, to those in need, and to our environment? Because to me, it’s all connected and so must we be connected if we are to make real life altering, planet altering change.
I’ve written this without editing—a free flow of thought. It’ll probably haunt me later, the typos. The tense, but I don’t have time to look for the errors, polish every transition or tighten every erratic point. I need to walk my dog, feed my starter, and prepare for a half-day trip to sit in the forest—a trip I’ve been putting off for weeks because work has kept me so busy.
At the nonprofit where I work, we feed people. And the need keeps growing. Each week, more working families, seniors, and unhoused individuals come to us for help. Last year, our mobile food trucks alone served 321,001 meals—not including the monthly emergency food box distributions. The lines are getting longer. The calls for help keep increasing.
So today, I’m going to go. Despite the rain. I’ll pack some lemon-honey-ginger tea, wear my rain gear, and bring a few snacks. I’ll take my writing, and the blanket I’m knitting—one of five projects for my mostly homemade Christmas gifts—and head out. Because I do make time. Most mornings, I write. I do yoga, prayer, meditation.
But lately, sadness and grief have been keeping me up at night—grief for the destruction of trees, the melting ice, the genocide, the killing, corruption, abductions, and the powerful takeover of our media and communications. I see hunger every day in my work. The deep craving for nourishment—of both body and mind.
I’m struggling. I don’t know how to do it all.
Can you help me understand how I can use technology as my tool, instead of becoming its tool? Because we do need it. (This is my work and yes, I use em dashes. I love them and refuse to give them up.)
Dear Tommy, what an absolutely wonderful piece of writing. Today I deleted the Instagram app from my phone, but I do want to delete my account entirely. I hesitate, because I am a photographer, but at the same time I know it’s the darkness that wants me to keep it. But I want to switch on the light. And you have inspired me to focus on something else in my life. My best regards, Agata
I need to figure out how to print this up and read every morning before I open screens.
Thank you - the list of things to do served like reminders of a life lost, time to change things up…
I love reading essays like this that talk about why should all get off social media, throw away our TV etc and on one hand I completely agree they it’s better to get rid of all these things then be addicted to them but on the other, isn’t there a way to use them in a way that’s balanced and healthy? I read actual physical books every day for at least 30 min, I meet up with friends 3-4 times a week, I call my mom every single day. But I also love a cozy night watching a tv show. I set clear limits (one episode per day and one movie per week) and I limit my TikTok/IG scrolling to 30 min a day. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Bravo! You actually got my attention enough to read this blog in my email — which says a lot, because over the past year I’ve been intentionally extricating myself from social media, deleting nearly all of my subscription services, and limiting my Apple TV or YouTube viewing to just one show at night. I’ve read or listened to more than 70 books this year, and I’m so much happier for it.
It hasn’t been easy — I still check my Ground News summaries for balanced perspectives — but it’s absolutely been worth the effort to disconnect.
Ground news is a nice little app to have to keep up on goings on without having to worry about being told what and how to think. I use it occasionally, usually to check what’s happening, in real terms, without agendas being attached to the bare facts of any given story.
Thank you for writing this Tommy, it's a high quality essay.
Commenting on your suggestions on reading a book, I recently came across a series of sermons written by St John Henry Newman in Victorian English. I read a few works from that era with that writing style as well in the past, but now I read the sermons it came upon me that the way they wrote was eloquent, leaving spaces between thoughts to sink in. A sentence could be very long in today's standard and at first I needed to read it slowly to understand what he meant, but after more pages in, I grasped the style.
While modern days' attention span: three bullet points maximum on one slide please and thank you.
Great essay. Found on Notes and consumed from my smart phone.
One consequence of watching other actually people do things on short form videos is that is creates a need in you to do the same, but you don't, you keep watching more people do things on the little screen, and then the shame and helplessness increases, but you keep scrolling... this is completely speculative of course and not based on any feelings I've ever had.