“Moral ambiguity is for socialists,” and “You can go to the dentist when you’re dead.” You could start your own motivational office poster company based on these two profundities alone. Hilarious piece Tommy.
Way funnier than your Alex piece (sorry, Alex)!!! Had me laughing right out loud. Your are penning peoples quiet, unspoken minds. You should try and get this published 😉. !!!
This made me laugh, despite having a more blue collar type of job. Very relatable. Sorry you gotta move out of the house. Austin sounds nice, especially since it’s freezing most places now.
this was so funny, Tommy. Had me smiling and laughing the whole time - thank you, I needed that. Funny enough I did go to business school, hated ¾ of it, and now I’m expected to get some full-time business whatever job and all i want to do is not that hahahaha so should be fun.
I’m sorry to hear about moving:(( I hope this week is a little easier on you. And good luck with the book launch!! (If anything goes wrong just blame your alter ego or the public who don’t choose the right books to read)
I read somewhere: “Schooling forces you to decide what you will pursue long before you get to try it. It makes your future, more knowledgeable self, the servant of the younger, ignorant self.”
I chose my university and program at 16. What I knew about myself back then is minuscule compared to now. To anchor to that decision for the rest of my life feels deluded, but similar to you, i feel it’s hard to switch lanes.
Thank you for reading & the kind words - needed that today (:
And yes i always blame my alter ego for any altercations (it’s worked so far!)
I wholeheartedly love this piece Tommy. Also it's important to remember employees who believe that management is concerned about them as a whole person - not just an employee - are more productive, more satisfied, more fulfilled. Satisfied employees mean satisfied customers, which leads to profitability.
"You need to be a white collar assembly line of productivity." still got me. Tommy you do such a wonderful job at wearing different hats and at experimenting humbly. This piece was hilarious through and through.
Thanks so much Haley (: thanks for your feedback on this one & really appreciate the kind words
I also added in that slack bubble comment after your very true note about looking busy. when I was a banker I kept a rock on my space bar because being offline felt to me like a death sentence lol. Not fun. Wouldn’t recommend it to an enemy.
"Anytime anyone asks how you’re feeling, don’t be fooled. It’s a trick question. Business is a gladiator sport and there’s no room for feelings. Just reply: “Meetings!” or “Forecasts!” or “Due diligence!” and hurry away."
OMG Tommy someone needed to tell me this when I was just back from Mat Leave and people would ask how I was and I would corner them in the little office kitchenette and start telling them I wasn't sleeping and to save me and that sleep deprivation is a legit form of torture. Poor colleagues would be trying to nod sympathetically while simultaneously planning their escape.
Haha totally know what you’re talking about. It’s funny in North America how casually people ask “how are you?” But never really expect an honest answer or anything past “good”. Whereas I’ve heard in more direct cultures, “how are you?” is a more personal question since people answer it honestly.
Thanks so much for reading & the thoughtful comment. Appreciate you!
Really enjoyed the quote and article you shared at the end. That's a good reminder for those (me) who aren't absolutely in love with their job and the work they do.
Mason! So good to hear from you man & thanks for the note.
Glad you enjoyed the Toni Morrison quote & essay. She’s so good. I’ve read thousands of essays but it’s one of the very few I come back to often and quote weekly.
“Moral ambiguity is for socialists,” and “You can go to the dentist when you’re dead.” You could start your own motivational office poster company based on these two profundities alone. Hilarious piece Tommy.
Hahaha thanks Rick. I really wasn’t sure about this piece after publishing but I’m glad you liked those lines.
Maybe if writing doesn’t pan out (eek) I’ll make office posters.
Thanks for your continual support. I (and so many other people) are deeply grateful for your support and kindness
Way funnier than your Alex piece (sorry, Alex)!!! Had me laughing right out loud. Your are penning peoples quiet, unspoken minds. You should try and get this published 😉. !!!
Haha thanks Dad - I’m not sure any publication would touch this with a 49 1/2 foot pole but perhaps. I’ll ask Forbes ?
Appreciate your support (:
Tommy I love the alter ego Thomas. He sounds like every successful consultant I’ve ever hired to be an “extra pair of hands”
Sadia! Haha thanks so much. I used to joke with my high school friends about my business alter ego so I figure I’d bring it to Substack !
Perhaps there’s some partial truth in there - as they say, comedians are the ultimate truth tellers (although I’m a far cry from a comedian)
Appreciate you reading and leaving a kind note (: it’s so good to hear from you
hahaha another banger advice piece 😆
Thanks Michelle ! So good to hear from you & really appreciate you reading and leaving a note.
Hope you’ve been well & enjoying the east coast (:
Thx for tips, gotta go, powerpoint isn’t gonna busy itself, bye.
Hahaha exactly Ben! So good to hear from you pal. Hope to catch up soon (:
PowerPoint isn’t gonna busy itself !!
This made me laugh, despite having a more blue collar type of job. Very relatable. Sorry you gotta move out of the house. Austin sounds nice, especially since it’s freezing most places now.
Ha thanks so much J. Its definitely out of left field for me so I’m glad you enjoyed it (:
Appreciate the kind wishes. Austin has been cold this week but hopefully will heat up!
Hope you have a lovely weekend & are keeping warm yourself
this was so funny, Tommy. Had me smiling and laughing the whole time - thank you, I needed that. Funny enough I did go to business school, hated ¾ of it, and now I’m expected to get some full-time business whatever job and all i want to do is not that hahahaha so should be fun.
I’m sorry to hear about moving:(( I hope this week is a little easier on you. And good luck with the book launch!! (If anything goes wrong just blame your alter ego or the public who don’t choose the right books to read)
I read somewhere: “Schooling forces you to decide what you will pursue long before you get to try it. It makes your future, more knowledgeable self, the servant of the younger, ignorant self.”
I chose my university and program at 16. What I knew about myself back then is minuscule compared to now. To anchor to that decision for the rest of my life feels deluded, but similar to you, i feel it’s hard to switch lanes.
Thank you for reading & the kind words - needed that today (:
And yes i always blame my alter ego for any altercations (it’s worked so far!)
Exactly! I basically chose the program I did because I had no idea what to choose. Gotta love it ahahaha.
I wholeheartedly love this piece Tommy. Also it's important to remember employees who believe that management is concerned about them as a whole person - not just an employee - are more productive, more satisfied, more fulfilled. Satisfied employees mean satisfied customers, which leads to profitability.
Hahahaha exactly Pách. I actually had a line that said something similar (although you worded it better here) but I cut it in the final edits.
Thank you so much for reading & taking the time to leave a thoughtful note.
Really appreciate it (:
"You need to be a white collar assembly line of productivity." still got me. Tommy you do such a wonderful job at wearing different hats and at experimenting humbly. This piece was hilarious through and through.
Thanks so much Haley (: thanks for your feedback on this one & really appreciate the kind words
I also added in that slack bubble comment after your very true note about looking busy. when I was a banker I kept a rock on my space bar because being offline felt to me like a death sentence lol. Not fun. Wouldn’t recommend it to an enemy.
GOLD!! And this Thomas R. Dixon dude sounds pretty damn legit.
But you forgot some critical advice tho. It's to walk around the office perimeter because surely that's what "let's circle back" means??
P.S. Thanks for linking that Toni Morrison essay. That was so good.
Oh he’s so legit. As legit as legit gets. Doesn’t have any friends and ignores his family but he’s so rich it doesn’t matter.
Haha circle back comment made me smile.
I’ll “double click” on it also means I can’t answer your question but I’ll tell you I’ll follow up with you on it, even though we both know I won’t.
Glad you liked the Toni Morrison essay!! One of the few I reread often.
number 4 really resonates with me
Haha thanks Justin! This was a bit out of left field for me but glad it resonated (:
"Anytime anyone asks how you’re feeling, don’t be fooled. It’s a trick question. Business is a gladiator sport and there’s no room for feelings. Just reply: “Meetings!” or “Forecasts!” or “Due diligence!” and hurry away."
OMG Tommy someone needed to tell me this when I was just back from Mat Leave and people would ask how I was and I would corner them in the little office kitchenette and start telling them I wasn't sleeping and to save me and that sleep deprivation is a legit form of torture. Poor colleagues would be trying to nod sympathetically while simultaneously planning their escape.
Noha! So good to hear from you (:
Haha totally know what you’re talking about. It’s funny in North America how casually people ask “how are you?” But never really expect an honest answer or anything past “good”. Whereas I’ve heard in more direct cultures, “how are you?” is a more personal question since people answer it honestly.
Thanks so much for reading & the thoughtful comment. Appreciate you!
Like why are you asking me how I am if you don't want to hear the answer. Just say "hi" don't say "hi how are you?" 🤣🤣🤣
I really enjoy your pieces, Tommy. Keep them coming.
Hahaha exactly
Thank you Noha 🫶 needed this today
This one had me chuckling the whole way through, great writing pal. Always love to see you approach different styles and topics.
Thanks Jackie boy - means a lot coming from you. Wasn’t feeling too confident about this one after publishing but glad you got a laugh out of it.
Appreciate your support as always (:
I legit laughed out loud at number 9. This was great and just what I needed today!!! Well done Tommy
Hahahaha thanks so much Bennett.
Really wasn’t sure about this one after publishing but fun to explore a different style of writing & I’m really glad that line resonated with you.
Appreciate you reading & the kind words. Hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend (:
Really enjoyed the quote and article you shared at the end. That's a good reminder for those (me) who aren't absolutely in love with their job and the work they do.
Mason! So good to hear from you man & thanks for the note.
Glad you enjoyed the Toni Morrison quote & essay. She’s so good. I’ve read thousands of essays but it’s one of the very few I come back to often and quote weekly.
Hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend (: