☕️ saturday mornings #18
☕️ saturday mornings #18
focus, self-esteem & tail ends
Good morning all,
I hope you’re having a lovely start to your Saturday.
Below is your edition of “saturday mornings”, a weekly recap of what I’ve been testing, learning and exploring over the past few days.
✍️Quote I’ve been thinking about:
I decided to include two quotes, said quite differently, that have the same underlying message: consciously and selectively spend your time, focus and energy.
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have done.”
― Steve Jobs
“It’s not how well you play the game, it’s deciding what game you want to play.”
― Kwame Appiah
I often feel I get pulled a million directions and spend too much time on the non-essential. I’ve started to realize, sometimes what you don’t do is just as important as what you do.
The reason is simple: by refusing to spend time, focus or energy on certain activities that aren’t essential, I then free myself up to invest and “double down” on the few key things I really love.
Seneca observed, “If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind.”
As such, I’ve been trying to become better at becoming more “outcome-oriented”: having a clear idea of what outcomes I want - the things I really care about - in each area of my life.
By articulating my goals, I can then be more comfortable saying no to opportunities that won’t get me any closer to achieving those outcomes, even if they look great on paper.
In short, what you don’t do determines what you can do.
📕Book passage I loved:
Q: What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?
Naval Ravikant: Follow your intellectual curiosity over whatever is “hot” right now. If your curiosity ever leads you to a place where society eventually wants to go, you’ll get paid extremely well.
Do everything you were going to do, but with less angst, less suffering, less emotion. Everything takes time.
Ignore: The news. Complainers, angry people, high-conflict people. Anyone trying to scare you about a danger that isn’t clear and present.
Don’t do things that you know are morally wrong. Not because someone is watching, but because you are. Self-esteem is just the reputation that you have with yourself. You’ll always know.
Ignore the unfairness - there is no fair. Play the hand you’re dealt to the best of your ability. People are highly consistent, so you will eventually get what you deserve and so will they.
— Tim Ferriss, Tribe of Mentors
📰Article I’ve been pondering:
I’ve been thinking a lot about time recently. Specifically, how to make the most of it and reflecting on what activities I engage in that don’t deserve my time.
This has been one of the most interesting articles I’ve come across in a while, as it provides a completely different perspective on how to think about time.
The author writes, “instead of measuring your life in units of time, you can measure it in activities or events.”
I’m 20 years old now and if I’m super lucky I’ll be hanging around till I’m 90. It seems like a lot of time at the outset.
I’m just under a quarter way through my life, so I’m a quarter way through my experiences of events in my life.
Anything I do once a year, I will only do 70 more times in my life. That means I only have 70 more summers left or 70 more Christmas holidays. I typically go to my cottage about three times per year. Assuming this stays constant until I’m 80 I only have 180 more trips left. These aren’t excessive numbers.
But what’s the main idea here?
Broadly, viewing life through this lens is an interesting thought exercise.
But when looking at my life in terms of experiences, I realize that I don’t have as much time as I initially thought. The author suggests that thinking this way can help foster an appreciation for time and experiences. It really boils down to gratitude.
However, a lot of the events I mentioned occur linearly in life. Once per year, every year.
This lens becomes even more interesting when applied to non-linear experiences - where events are not evenly distributed across time.
For example, I’ve been in school since I was three years old, and only have about two years left in university. Assuming I don’t go back to school after my under-grad, that means I’m 90% through my “school experience” in life despite only being 20 years old. Makes me want to sprint through it a little less.
More interestingly, relationships. Between being born and heading to university at 18, let’s assume I saw my parents 9 out of 10 days. Let’s also assume I’m super lucky (again) and both my parents live til they’re 90.
For the majority of my life, I’ll probably see my parents for another 15 days per year on average. This means by the time I left for university, I’d already spent 92% of the total time I’ll get with my parents. We have around 525 total days together left. Less time than I had with them in 1.5 years of my childhood. I’m in the tail end.
The same pattern can be extrapolated for siblings or high-school friends.
“When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life.”
The author pulls out three main takeaways that he’s distilled from viewing time this way.
“1) Living in the same place as the people you love matters. I probably have 10X the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else.
2) Priorities matter. Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you—not by unconscious inertia.
3) Quality time matters. If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.”
🍂What I’m laughing at:
That’s all for this week’s edition of “saturday mornings”.
And, as always, please give me feedback by replying to this email or give me a shout on Twitter. Which topic above is your favourite? What do you want more or less of? Other suggestions? Please let me know.
Thank you for reading, I really appreciate the support. Have a great weekend.
Much love to you and yours,
Thomas